graduation tomorrow. it all feels so fast, especially with the chinese lessons. im sure we'll all miss nanyang, but probably what we miss most is the sense of belonging. it's like how we've gotten so used to life in nanyang and it's become our comfort zone. the classroom, 武馆, the hall, canteen, all the people. we've probably become settled so snugly that we hate to get out of this, just like how we hate getting out of bed when its raining damn heavily and the weather is damn cooling. the thing about jc is that it doesnt feel like you really belong in any place? considering that most of the time we'll be in lectures, not classrooms. which then comes to the point of ccas. the thing about joining wushu in jc is that i'll having to break out of that comfort zone of wushu in nanyang. cuz the situation isn't the same even though it's the same cca. for people like me who dun have a dying passion for wushu, it's the people and the environment that make the difference. that was present in nyws, but in hc? maybe.

it's the first time im going to a new school when i know like so many people. it took damn long to adjust from pei hwa to henry park, then from henry park to nanyang. i'd always thought that starting afresh was worse than going into a familiar environment. now that i think about it, things might be a lot easier and simpler starting anew. having said all that, im probably still not ready and definitely don't want to leave. and a big thank you to all those people who've made a part of my nanyang life!

something really apt

From kyx! lol koped from one of his notes.

Take off your shoes. Wear mine. Walk around a little. How does it feel?

Not that I ask too much. It's akin to a competition: sometimes we participate and don't get the result we want. Though we might accept that those above us deserve their placing, we still have every right to be disappointed. It's the same thing.

You think of the people before us, how they were different. But is that analogy valid? Let us examine it by means of another analogy. The analogy to an analogy. Concentric circles. How inceptive. 

Consider two students. Their relative proficiencies in the various subjects are irrelevant. One aims for a 3.6, the other wants a 4.0. They both get 3.8. Though they both get the same thing, the first student is happy; the second isn't. Call him stupid for aiming for an unrealistic 4.0, but the quest for perfection is an admirable undertaking. Tread softly, because you tread on his dreams. 

From here on, it's a simple matter: what do you do when you've given your all but your all is not enough?

What do you do when you've tried your best but it does not manifest?

The dauntless intrepid one goes: try harder!

The tiny voice in the back of your head screams: I've tried my best!

The pragmatist goes: give up.

Alas, we are humans, and humans are we; easier options are preferred. The pragmatist wins again. 

Besides, sometimes, by the time you realise that it's not enough, it's too late to try again. 

And there is one logical outcome: apostasy. 

When you're not happy with what you're given, you can decide that you'd rather have nothing. So you throw it all away and wander around in search of greener pastures. In short, severance. 

But giving something up is never easy. It's a long, painstaking process that stretches over days, even months. Yet, for the sake of a brighter future, it must be done. We can only move on by cutting the restraints that tether us. 

But it is not to be! Halfway through the process, they call you back, threatening to jeopardise whatever progress you have made! And you would have to start again, from step one. You'd have to relive the opening throes of the Severance. An unpleasant thought at best. 

In the end, you find yourself looking in from outside the window. 

Call it hypocrisy. Call it betrayal. I don't need your pity or sympathy. I don't even expect your empathy. In fact, I don't know why I'm even accounting for my actions. But I hope that you respect my decisions. Indeed, we all encounter choices in our life. When one door closes, another opens. Perhaps, when one door opens, another closes. Maybe the opening of one door necessitates the closing of another. 

And with this, I unfetter my burdened conscience.

I am free.

when i went to tze's house on friday, i seriously felt like stealing her entire collection of 武侠shows. it's like she has whatever you can name lah. okay maybe except for those serials like 少年杨家将，but apart from that, all those that she has is like... awesome. haha i borrowed 雪山飞狐，新如来神掌 and 风云2 from her after spending like damn long choosing. heh but i probably will borrow more from her once im done, although that'll take a while given that 武侠shows are relatively long in general and that i already have uh the shows currently airing on tv to watch.


神机妙算刘伯温 ended last thursday! there are actually 7 parts to the series, but somehow mediacorp stopped airing it after showing 2 parts. its slightly draggy i suppose, but the 'fights' between 刘伯温 and 胡惟庸 are damn interesting, plus there's like a lot of wit involved. and 朱元璋 in the show is really amusing, just that im not entirely sure that's how he was in real life.


oh and 古灵精探 is ending next tues. i think that this show is like on of the better tvb dramas? heh maybe it's juz cuz 郭晋安 is in it, and he's like one of the actors that i like the most. should watch 与敌同行 someday cuz he's apparently some 100% creepy and evil villain in the show. can't quite imagine it cuz he's always more 搞笑派 in shows.

I suppose i feel quite relieved after EOYs, but there's always something weighing on my mind which makes me feel like: hey, exams are NOT over. of course it's malay O's that are like in forever. or at least seems like it. because when i last checked, there's only about 20 plus days left. and that isn't a lot considering the first 10 days will pass without feeling the need to study, and after which i won't feel like studying either cuz it's the 'holidays'. well, im sure.


went to marina barrage today to learn bout puisi seperti sapak. i suppose i did learn something, but the whole experience felt very -errrrr-. like going all the way to marina barrage to learn about poems. and somehow although we just sat there almost the entire time, it was damn draining. maybe cuz we had to wear long pants despite being outdoors and the weather was really uncooperative. at the very least it didn't rain. 


i wonder what's going to happen to my malay after this. im like 99.99% sure that there isn't malay in jc. actually im 100% sure. that 0.01% is juz to give me a glimmer of hope that doesn't exist anyway. makes sense? duh no. but anyway, the point is that if i stop malay after O's then within a year or less I'll be reverted to maybe my sec 1 standard which is really like non-existent. then all the effort put in in these four years is gonna be wasted =.=
damn it lah. why can they offer jap, french and german in jc but not malay? if they did offer malay as a third lang, i would definitely take it, simply cuz it's a continuation from secondary school. that's why it feels so pointless to study for O's when i know that a year later, having that cert won't make much of a difference cuz i can't speak the language anymore.

kinda surprised to be blogging now. its probably gonna be short though.


next tuesday's gonna be math paper 2, the last EOY paper, the last exam in nanyang. after which there won't be any signs of studying for a whole 3 months. of course, we'll be getting back papers. and its either that you're gonna be disappointed/complaining. In general, people are never pleased with their marks, isn't it? whether you're failing or getting 99%, its the same. like any other person, i want EOYs to come to an end. 


but then what? like what is there to do after EOYs? there's no need to study, so it's just slacking off in our last days in nanyang. it just feels very weird... as though our last days in nanyang aren't spent fruitfully.

maf that day was like wow. like juniors performed and it was okay? i suppose. but the music was terrible. like damn obvious that people didn't put in effort to try and make it more in sync with the performance. and the hc wushu performance was juz epic. most of the guys did 3 xiang in one performance... and the whole standard is like WOW. not that we didnt know how pro they are, but the maf performance totally made us feel 自卑. they're like only a year older than us and the gap in our standard is... and if i end up not joining wushu in jc, then that's probably the main reason. lol maybe being zai is that good cuz u end up scaring people away.

found out that most ccas only had elections/handover a while ago or like are going to have it. wu ya wen cheated us like crap lah. crazy ass somehow decided that oh we need to handover really early this year. best part was that i was in china and got an email from susi saying that wu said we needed to hand over soon, and like a few days later she emailed me the election results. It was freaking hell only early may. neither did i vote nor knew what was going on. like hey, so much for being the captain.

apparently this applied to the whole school and we had handover during the june hols. well, apparently NOT. for wu, it's probably no big deal. i mean like, it's just handover. unfortunately for us, it's not. how long did i have as a captain? technically we had handover in august last year i think, so it should be 10 months. but in actual fact, there wasnt training after that due to eoys, and then i went china for 6 weeks so i only like started proper in december? then this year i left for china on 17th april, day after comps. and before i came back, there was elections. so i was essentially a captain for about 4 months. the whole bsp thing may to be blame for the 6 week trips, but wu made it so much worse. she made us handover at least 2 months in advance. seriously, it doesnt feel like i was the captain cuz i seriously didnt have much time as one, and it felt as though i seriously didn't do anything. the time as a sec 4/captain felt like it ended in april, on the day of comps.

been wanting to post bout a lot of things, but either no time or just too lazy. this happened quite a while ago, but i still had to say something about it. i didn't see the need for the people in our class to chase the juniors out of the com lab juz cuz we had to do that survey. and obviously no need to tell them to **** off. i don't really care if spewing those words have become a habit for you or if being hostile is your true self, but there was no need to chase the juniors out of the com lab, especially since there were at least 40 computers and only 20 plus ppl in our class. no wonder people hate gepers. if they behave like that, what more can we expect?


pre-funfair and post funfair involved moving 3000 ice pops from audi to home ec room and back down. throughout the whole funfair i probably went up and back down carrying ice/ice pops more than 15 times. plus incessant walking the entire day made funfair pt x 10000. woke up the next day with a stiff upper body and felt paralysed =.= 


watched the yog girls and boys soccer semi finals last sat and sun! really damn awesome. first time watching a live soccer match! first semi final was between turkey and chile and it was a lot more entertaining than the second match. and there were a surprisingly large number of turkish supporters in the stands. eventually turkey lost 2-3, but both teams played quite well. all i can say is that turkey is really unlucky cuz their shots hit the woodwork thrice, 2 shots against the posts and 1 against the crossbar.


second match was between equatorial guinea and iran. iran had to wear like long sleeves and stuff cuz of what their country required, but the headgear kind of distracted them during the game i think. like when they head the ball, they had to adjust their headgear to prevent it from falling off. but the game was quite one sided cuz equatorial guinea was really too good for iran and the ball was often stuck in the iranian half, only leaving occasionally. was quite surprised that equatorial guinea took 20 minutes to score. they won 4-1 i think?

O LEVELS!

malay o levels oral today!


only started last minute prep for it on like yesterday, and chionged today. turns out that the oral was awesome! thanks to the awesome question =D we went to tiong bahru examination centre at about 2 plus and started waiting for the oral to start. it was surprisingly fast cuz all the nanyang people ended by 4pm when the actual oral started at 2.30. thought it would drag till 5 something, cuz like 11 x 15 mins...


question was about pengalaman yang awak tidak akan lupa and apa awak belajar dari pengalaman ini...


i totally wowed at the question cuz it was so broad and the questions cikgu asked us when we were practising were damn specific. i probably spent juz 5 seconds thinking before starting to talk about piala dunia (WORLD CUP AND SOCCER FTW!). lol if not for the fact that I played soccer like mad in primary school and the sort of obsession i have with soccer, i wouldnt have done so many things with relation to soccer for malay. to think i did the glog on piala dunia and i talked about menonton piala dunia for the pengalaman. heh damn satisfied and happy and relieved. especially since everyone was totally in a slacking mode today but 9 of us had to worry bout malay oral.


and the cikgus testing us were awesome! they were damn friendly and juz kept smiling and nodding as i spoke. and the bacaan was uh surprisingly easy, so much easier than the passages cikgu gave us, and there weren't even any numbers. surprisingly, i felt more confident (lol im in a malay mood now. was going to type yakin) when conversing instead of reading out the passage.


can only say that the oral was awesome, and i was damn happy they gave that question. can't believe our written paper is in 3 freaking months time =.= have to revise all over again like 1, 2 months later. the schedule is really... unbelievable

got back chinese papers today. damn xian lah, almost exactly the same as block test one, which just means that it's sickening. and almost the entire class saw the chem papers even though we didnt have chem. lol mr sit came in towards the end of recess to ask if we wanted to know our marks, and in the end this swarm of people went after him towards the science dept.


ended up not getting back math paper despite her saying so =.= and we're getting back history tmr! probably didn't do very well, but can't expect much anyway, given that my marks  have always been that. 


and i realised that this block test was the first test/exam that i have taken for like bio, chem and history. the last time was block test 2 last year. lol cuz of all the trips to china, so it turns out that eoys will be my next exam =.=


malay oral tmr! lol i feel screwed cuz i seriously didnt do anything over the long break. didnt know how to prepare so i juz left it there. what i did on tuesday was epic. woke up at like 1.30 and watched about 8 or 9 hours of tv and slept at like 12... quite shiok actually, like how often do you get to do that...

213th post. guess it took really long to get here. block test was generally manageable although chances are that the results come back being not so manageable. and the block test made me realise something bout jasmine tan. that's she's the most 标准 bitch you'll ever meet. not that i didnt know before that, but this just sealed everything. and i remember that someone reminded me that jasmine is like 茉莉, which is juz such an insult to the flower. i mean, she must have been really bad for me to take so long to realise the connection between her name and the flower.


anyway, inception is like the best movie, ever. its so good that you totally get drawn into the plot, get tricked into thinking that you are part of the show. and the kind of feeling that you get after watching it is just awesome! for once, you feel pretty smart about things, as though you know a lot.


cross country on friday was better than expected. at the very least, the weather wasn't that bad. walked with sarah for like 3km and ran for the last 200m and made it to the finish in 27 mins. it was a bid to make ourselves appear pro at the end. and uh we couldn't quite understand how some people alternated jogging and walking and ended up behind us =.= like seriously... then we had like batch outing at ikea which as usual was rather interesting, in terms of our dining habits? i dunno.


channel 5 is actually showing the community shield match between man u and chelsea. it's probably the first time im seeing an epl match on free to air. and valencia juz scored in like the 41st minute of the game. okay, i really should go watch it now.

NYWS FTW!

20th July 2010, Tuesday
Sarah Quek, Grace Koh, Ta Susiwati, Hsu Yi Ting, DPM Teo Chee Hean, Chia Ching Yee, Alyssa Ang, Venus Goh

潇洒走一回

天地悠悠过客匆匆潮起又潮落
恩恩怨怨生死白头几人能看透
红尘啊滚滚痴痴啊情深
聚散终有时
留一半清醒留一半醉
至少梦里有你追随
我拿青春赌明天
你用真情换此生
岁月不知人间多少的忧伤
何不潇洒走一回
宁静致远祝您永远幸福安康

had ih and la blocks yesterday. ih was seriously O.O like wth 3 questions in 50 minutes! feel damn cheated for history =.= and frankly speaking, the questions were relatively easy, maybe with the first one being slightly harder. lol did the paper at like some leisurely pace and ended up not having enough time to write the last level stuff cuz i was like doing it damn slowly thanks to the awesome amount of time given.


and i think i kind of screwed la. took damn long deciding which question to write and it seemed to me that I wrote it really badly. but hopefully doesn't turn out that bad.

有人说我该放弃，要反悔比执迷还容易。

after talking to ching yee yesterday, i felt that i had to like say this. nothing important lah, just that it seems damn stupid. the whole four tier differentiated learning in chinese is really just crap =.= like sure differentiated in terms of no of movies you watch and maybe the amount you get to copy. content wise, only slightly. and all that hype about bsp, about the importance of grooming billingual individuals to blah blah blah just seems really stupid. i mean like, bsp in nanyang really doesnt cover much. one hour a week. im quite sure if you go around asking bsp students in nanyang what they learnt, they would probably take a while to respond. and most of us probably can only say the topic, nothing much content wise. like all those whatever 运动 that we learnt about. i practically dont know anything about it. bsp in nanyang is totally not an accurate reflection of china studies in hwa chong. not even one of a millionth.

oh look! I feel so prepared for that! =.=

the thing about GEP

figured i'll put this here as well... since our time in nanyang is drawing to a close soon. and so is our time in GEP, as GEPers.

I think the whole problem about GEP in nanyang is that they kind of segregate us from the rest and label us GEP (although most secondary schools dont keep GEPers together) and yet we aren't doing anything different from the rest of the classes. Granted, there are instances that we might get priority in certain matters. But the point is that academic wise (which we're supposed to be good or better at) there's practically nothing done.

If we're supposed to be in a special program then at the very least there must be something different about us. Else, there's no point keeping us as one GEPer class anyway. its's juz like how the math and science class has a different math syllabus is sec 3 and how the hp classes have to take one more subject that the rest of us in sec 3. Not that i really wanted to be treated differently as a GEper, just that if they want to brand us in that way, they have to do something about it. And not just leave us with a name and let things be.

Of course like the rest of the GEPers, im quite sure we all enjoyed the supposed treatment we get and of course are proud to be called GEpers. But the flaw in this system is that they have put all of us into this mold since primary 4, since we were 10. Other GEPers not in nanyang have probably crawled out of that mold and gone on. But here in nanyang, this mold has just become more distinct and its like a hole that's got deeper and deeper. Having spent 7 years in a system whereby you have the privilege of a small class and being surrounded by practically the same people each year, we're going to find it very hard to adapt to life in JC where we all get thrown back into the 'normal way of school life'. Im sure we get along quite well with many people in the mainstream, but the thing is that we often dont interact with them on a academic basis. Granted that you study with them for eoys or anything, it doesnt change the fact that you have not been in the classroom environment with them for a whole 7 years, and that is something really different.

When the time comes in less than half a year for us to climb out of this deep hole, I believe most of us will struggle to get out of it. For it has already become our way of life, the circle that we are so used to and so comfortable with. But that is not the way society works and we'll be forced to get used to that fact. And here is the whole crux of the problem of GEP.

Whatever it is, I have to say that I really enjoyed all these and am really very glad to have been given a chance to experience all these. Ultimately, even though we might not have been given what we wished, we still have to thank the MOE for coming up with this, for giving us such an awesome chance to feel special, to experience these 7 years as a GEPer.

GEP FTW! 

It's been ages since i last posted and actually a whole lot of things happened. so i shall start from napfa?


it was quite interesting to have to do napfa during a retest. and i seriously suspect they are like a lot more lax cuz of that. ESPECIALLY in IPU. lol or maybe its just that ms sabrina wasn't the one assessing us, cuz she's damn strict bout that. anyway, the results.


IPU: 19
Sit ups: 40 something
Shuttle run: 11.2 or something (all thanks to some crazy netball girl who dashed out of nowhere!)
SBJ: 198! (really awesome cuz when i practiced my range was from 170 to 190 o.o)
Sit and reach: 58 (although i would have thought 60 was a much nicer number... xD)
2.4: too terrible to be disclosed


i suppose this year's napfa was quite good, with my sbj and sit and reach being the bst. shuttle run and 2.4 was just dreadful. cant believe how badly i did for 2.4. it's like about the same or worse than my result in sec 1, which was wow.


and then we had the flags performance for the flag presntation for YOG. amazingly, the audience included DPM teo chee hean and had ppl like teo ser luck as well. the entire performance was really fast. its like one moment we were waiting for the DPM to arrive and the next, we just zoomed on stage. although i suppose we were regarded as calefares, that doesnt really matter much. i hope. at the very leat we had to the chance to perform there and then regardless of how important it really was for the occasion.


then there was the block tests on thursday. i wrote the yao qing han and the zuo wen about zhong xue sheng li cai. i suppose it was okay? just that im not sure if i missed out any details about the yao qing han when i wrote it. and i originally intended to present my glog to cikgu during thursday recess, but thanks to the school only giving us 45 mins in between chinese papers and australian chem thing, and another 15 mins between that and la right after that, i ended up not having enough time... seriously, the school is damn stingy with recesses. like they didnt even bother to give us a slightly longer recess after block tests and instead decided to split up the one hour into 45 min and 15 min breaks. oh btw the australian chem thing was really easy. like there were questions which required absolutely no chemical knowledge and just common sense. lol and to quote herah after we took it: i wonder what they learn in school.


oh and there was the debate thing between 401 and 414 during assembly. btw, those were the only 2 sec 4 classes that participated and it ended up that all the sec 3 classes lost to them =.= anyway, i suppose the debate was quite close and i have to say that it got really confusing to the end. plus having en ting as a chair was really amusing.not gonna comment much about the debate, but i just had to say something about an example raised by i dunno who on soccer. someone said that the reason why we have to pay so much to watch epl now is cuz of the demand of the people in singapore or something. well, i would think the real reason is that singtel and starhub were bloody stupid in bidding for the world cup. in order to outbid each other, they ended up offering some astronomical sum to bid for the world cup. epl saw that and realised that these singapore companies have a damn lot of money and yet they're paying only this much for the rights to telecast the epl. obviously if you show off your riches, you attract thieves. that is exactly what happened to singtel and starhub. the epl would be stupid not to extort money from them. and that's why we end up having to pay so much lah. so all i can say about that is that it had absolutely nothing to do with the debate and should not have been used by anyone at all =.=


then on friday came the craziest thing. 3 presentations in a row. in three different languages. chinese sia presentation, then ih topical presentation, followed by glog presentation. and the thing about chinese sia was that zhi qi and i officially started on the sia we were presenting (we changed our title and the focus) last sunday. lol damn zai lah. we were rushng everything like crap, even till the last minute during pccg that i paid no attention to. luckily, we managed to pull it off and li wen juan seemed relatively pleased with us. hopefully, it wasn't that obvious that we were not the least bit prepared.


then came ih which was equally screwed cuz shi ting fell asleep before finishing her part on like thursday (friday morning actually). and audrey wasn't there. so we tried to go up to kuan and ask her if we could present on monday instead, but she said we would get zero if we didnt present on friday, so we just went up and ad libbed. despite us thinking that we were screwed, it turns out that we weren't according to kuan who said that we did quite well and were able to answer her questions. we couldnt really believe it, but well good for us i suppose.


and then it was the glog presentation during recess. surprisingly it was the presentation i was the most prepared for, even though it was in malay. i suppose its cuz i was already prepared to present it last monday and due to all sorts of things that happened it ended up being pushed back. but yeah it was good and so i survived friday.


malay blocks on monday. should be able to cope, i hope...

the taiwan ppl left today! it was quite sad on thursday cuz they left so fast, although the waving to them incessantly plus the threatening to get on the bus and leave with them was damn funny. they only come for like a few days and they're gone so fast it feels so... its juz like when we go to china for so long and only go to the school for like less than a week. that seriously needs to be changed.


anyway, on to wushu! i finally learnt almost the entire jiu changquan tao on tuesday! and of course we did qi... the school should seriously stop treating us as though we are wushu exponents and think that we wont face ANY problems if you juz pop in and tell us that 'oh, we need you to perform in like 2, 3 weeks. AND its the tao that you're the MOST familiar tao you know! like QI!'. and after we ALMOST finalised the tao, we were greeted with the awesome news that we would be performing in the audi, and so rejoice! =.= gosh. i guess that juz explained everything.


but still, i hope we can get everything right in time. its kind of hard cuz of napfa stuck in between and other stuff, but well it's not the first time we've had to do things like this. im sure practice makes perfect.

school has been better than i thought it would be simply because i expected to be screwed going into the school term with quite a bit of stuff undone. so far, the time to be screwed has been pushed back and uh serves as a great relief to someone who needs to dedicate her time to the tv screen, esp world cup. lol excuses, excuses.


training tmr! looking forward to learning as much of the jiu changquan tao as possible =D and btw, the way xue teaches is rather... interesting

时机不容错过，否则往事只能回味

我们都知道时光是短暂的。四年的时间，就这样一眨眼的过去了。上个星期的接班让我感触良多，也让我非常依依不舍。假期第一个礼拜回到学校时，因为无所事事（马来语在一个钟头后才开始）我就独自到武馆去。我一个人躺在了地毯的中央，想着想着，往事全都浮现在我脑海里。

中一的时候，我不知何故选择加入南中武术队。当时，我们还没有武馆，每个人都在四楼的个个角落练习。还记得我们看到的第一个测试，是在那么小的空间进行的。学姐们一个个上场，而我们则因为无知，可能是打气太过头了吧，结果还被学姐骂。每次训练的时候，总是会有一些中四的学姐（偶尔还有一些中三的）监督我们练南中拳。他们当时的严格要求令我们气愤，每一个人的动作都要完美无暇才能继续。我们总觉得自己被折磨得很惨，每次训练后总是腿软软的走回家。还记得有一段时间我们受不了她的视若无睹，对于另外一些学姐感到畏惧，又觉得有学姐几位幽默。不过如今我真的很感激他们当时对我们的苛刻、严格。那年年尾武馆终于修建完毕，我们从礼堂搬了两个重的无可比拟的地毯上了三楼。那中间的辛苦和汗水，我绝对忘不了。

中二的时候，我们第一次去比赛。对于从来没有比赛经验的我们，比赛是多么令我们畏惧的啊。更何况是要比单项，四段剑。在比赛的过程中，我并不知道自己在干什么，竟然有昏昏欲睡的感觉。虽然成绩不是很理想，不过那次比赛的经验对我来说还是非常难能可贵。我们在一起练了集体刀，八个人的集体刀。虽然当时我们希望只有七人参赛。比赛前不久，教练把我们的动作改了又改，换了又换，让中二的我们非常担心。担心自己会忘记套路，会无法与音乐配合，无法与队友配合。结果比赛当天真的出事了，而且我们错得那么明显。也不知道为什么，评判竟判给了我们铜牌，让我们惊喜万分。不过现在的我们重新回顾当时比赛的片断时，都觉得自己的表现根本不配得到第三名，也对于当时的成绩难以理解。

中三的时候，我们认定自己在竞赛套路的表现好不到哪里去，若要参加单项和集体，定时什么名次也得不到。大家也就因此放弃了比单项的机会，全心全意投入集体拳。我们基本功的不足，彻彻底底的在我们的集体套路中显现。手中没有任何的器械让人更容易看破我们的不足之处。不过我们非常的努力，非常的投入，相信这样就足够了。当我们问教练我们集体拳的胜算有多高的时候，他们几乎很肯定地告诉我们，我们很有机会拿到名次。比赛名单出炉的时候，我们发现在B组 的集体拳队伍只有五个，包括我们在内。当时我们信心大增，仿佛打了强心针一样。我们还笑说自己不肯能拿不到名次的。上完场，比完赛，我们站在一旁等待梦寐以求的得分。谁知道那分数一出，我们的心片刻跌入谷底。哑口无言的我们根本无法了解事情为何会演变成这样。我们并没有犯下什么明显的错误，而且我们认为自己的表现至少能获得第四名。结果，我们成了第五名。应该说是最后一名吧。我们连眼泪也流不出来，因为我们根本就不认为自己应该得到这样的分数，更不明白评判为何会这样评分。八月份的时候，中四的学姐接班给我们。我也在当时成为了南中武术队的队长。当然，我对此深感骄傲，不过也担心自己无能带领队员创高峰。

中四的时候，我们的辈分已经是最大的了，也没有学姐能够教我们，帮助我们。二月份的春节表演对我们来说意义非凡。它对我们的意义绝对比对其他武术队员的意义还要重大，是其他人所难以想象的。我们虽然是中四，不过从来没有在春节表演上表演过。这对于我们而言不仅是一种遗憾，更是一种耻辱。因此，我们决心为我们唯一一次南中春节表演的表演付出一切，让全校师生看到我们最好的一面，看到我们努力和奋斗的成果。为了确保我们的集体到在礼堂台上表演顺利，我们多次到礼堂去‘试场地’。由于礼堂台上的位不够，我们的套路无法按照原本的形式完成。结果我们为了那一次的表演改了套路的一部分。就因为那空间太小。我们虽然每次都练得身心疲惫，伤痕累累，不过当天南中师生在看武术表演时所给的反应让那一切的一切变得非常值得。那时我们一直都渴望得到的，认可。无论是评判的认可，南中全体师生的认可，教练的认可，学姐的认可，学妹的认可，都是我们一直想得到的。不过得到认可的权力似乎一直都被剥夺。直到那一刻。在礼堂掌声响起的那一刻。这一切才有了变数。

对于2009那令人既困惑又被分的成绩，我们还是难以忘记。这已经是我们最后一个机会，最后一个让自己扬眉吐气的机会，容不得我们错过。学了学姐们的集体刀套路之后，我们呕心沥血的改进它，重新编排，整顿队形（七个人的队型可是难以编排的），加入音乐。最终编排出的套路可说是真的属于我们，是我们呕心沥血的结晶，尤其是那结尾。我敢说我们今年所付出的努力比中二和中三的加起来还要多。几乎每当我们在学校的时候有空档，就会会合，一起讨论集体套路的事，一起练那难以达到的单手翻。中四的前四个月几乎都是在为四月十六号的比赛而准备的。比赛永远充满了未知数，而在四月十六号我们也因此感到非常害怕，兴奋，和担忧。距离比赛的时间一分一秒地过去，我的心跳也越变越快。坐在一旁看对手们一一的上场更是让我的心情难以平复。走上地毯式，我的心更是整个都跳了出来。在完成套路的当儿，我不知道为什么脚那么的不稳，那么的不扎实，好像随时都会跌倒似的。打完整套后，我并不是对自己的表现很满意，不过还是认为我们应该很有机会拿到名次。看到分数时，我并不知道我们到底是第几名。因为那分数看起来足以得到第三名，却看起来有可能是第五名。结果我们得到第四名，分数同另外一队一样。不过由于有两队得到第三名，我们根本就拿不到任何奖牌。当时，我们站在礼堂外，个个不知该说什么好。结果我们一个个开始落泪。那时我也觉得眼睛热辣辣的，眼泪也就这样夺眶而出。为什么？为什么我们那么的努力，不过在正式比赛的时候却无法发挥平时的水平？对于我们而言，那是莫大的遗憾。我也没什么时间整顿自己的心情，就在隔天搭早班飞机到北京去了。

如今已是2010年，六月份了。在南中的日子，在武术队的日子也不多了。所以我更要争取仅剩的时间，南中武术队一分子的时间。我能去多少次训练就去多少次，因为时光匆匆流去，再过不久我也就没这个机会了。与其后悔自己没有好好把握在南中的最后半年的时间，何不趁现在，趁遗憾还没形成之前，做自己该做的事？

been following the world cup like xiao the past week and totally neglected my homework =.=


anyway, batch outing on friday was uh quite epic1 hahaha our selection of songs made it seem as though a group of uncles, a group of aunties, a group of kpop crazy teenage girls, a group of .... and .... 


the point is, the range of songs we sang was so wide that it would be shocking to any normal person who saw it. but nonetheless, we had an awesome time there. especially since kbox gave us 40 mins free and we were all O.O about it.


and the world cup has been full of surprises so far. hahaha and it was awesome when serbia beat germany 1-0 xD since they didnt deserve to lose against ghana. although vidic didnt seem to learn from his teammate who got sent of as a result of a second yellow card for handballing against ghana, letting them win due to the penalty. but serbia's keeper was good enough and podolski was quite terrible in the game and his penalty got saved.

Beijing was like 5 days ago...

Came back from beijing on open house day! ended up super tired on saturday. and finding the wushu people when going back was damn funny cuz i was wearing my 低调 shirt and cap! surprisingly they took damn long to realise that i was there considering that they were all in the canteen and i was walking towards them.

we had like mass splitting sessions in the canteen and thanks to the fact that i stretched in beijing, i could still split! =D and somehow i started re-learning si duan dao from sarah, plus like the starting of xin dao that i still dun get! not bad lah, was almost done with si duan dao xD and i finally did xin jian with a jian for the first time in i dunno how long, considering we didnt do dan xiang for ages. it did feel quite shuang.

went to hui ran's house after that for bbq where i obviously was at a great disadvantage. but thankfully i could eat like prawns and the corn and so didnt starve to death or something. oh and i was talking to sarah for an hour about some seemingly wuliao stuff and some stuff that didnt seem so wuliao and somehow concerned our 'future'. lol we were stuffing ourselves with food as we talked.

anyway! beijing was really awesome! it was really different from shanghai, but apart from the cultural lessons we had in Shanghai, the other stuff in beijing were so much better. we had like freedom, decent hostels,  a hoard of shopping trips among other crazy things.

and my room was awesome as well! 低调！i think i'll post like dedis later. For the 低调 people and for batchmates （i've been wanting to do that after comps, cept that i had no chance)!

okay, not bad that i managed to type all this after i died doing history sia and was left with barely 2 hours of sleep...

HEAL ALREADY....

OMG comps in 2 days!


i feel kind off screwed cuz i think i pulled my thigh muscle. all thanks to chai once again =.= he's like the culprit for making my ankle injured the first time, and subsequently some days ago. and now this... does he not understand that we NEED to do warm ups properly?


im damn scared that my leg will screw up. cuz it juz got worse today, especially after i trained today. like i currently need to limp cuz its less pain than walking. and my leg hurts regardless of what position im in, even if im sitting down =.= like WTH! i want to be able to do the tao properly on friday, be able to go down for gong bus, be able to jump and split, be able to do my moves fast enough!


we're gonna shi di tan tmr! hopefully we can settle everything in the stingy 1.5 minutes they gave us, when that chung cheng had like a year since the previous comps to shi chang di -.-''' damn unfair lah. plus that stupid fat bitch.

NYWS FTW!

the 200th post. 3 days to jiti. 4 days to beijing.


this is seriously nerve wrecking. especially since its so close for the b div overall. chung cheng 56 pts, nanyang 42 points, dunman 41 points. i seriously hope we can secure 2nd place. the last time we got that was when we were in sec 1 the b div managed to get 2nd. jiti plays a crucial role in like our final positions.... ahhh. so hopefully we can 压得住 dunman and maintain 2nd. im not sure how many points the 4th placed team has right now. hopefully as low as possible...


everything is coming so quickly but it seems like we're not ready for comps yet...


splits, liu shui, walking in, shuai tou, ting dun, gong bu. all these are still not good enough. i would think that there's more, but these should be the main ones.

EXACTLY A WEEK TO COMPS!


its VERY VERY tense. argh. one week is all thats left. its like our last year in nanyang and we really gave everything to lian, to come up with the moves, to change to tao, to do like everything to make the tao better. i really think we deserve to get something from this year's comps. especially after what happened last year when we got our marks and juz stoned there, wondering if there was something wrong with our eyes or the score. at that point in time, it felt like the world stopped turning or something. 


i dont think we can stand another blow like that. or at least i wont be able to. the last year! there's no way we can say 'oh, there's still next year'. right now, everything seems very uncertain. and even though we seem fairly confident and probably improved a lot, nothing seems to be enough. its juz like last year when we put in so much effort and thought we were worth at least 3rd place and above. but in the end?


ARGH. i've been thinking so much these days its driving me nuts. and i juz find it very unfair. like how some ppl dont bother much about their events and yet they get better results than others?


and the sense of urgency doesnt seem to be present in certain ppl even though their comps are drawing so near. i mean, look at the amount of effort we put in as compared to some of them. Even in sec 2 and sec 3 i think we put in more effort than what some of you are doing now. im not even sure if you guys know who you are, but there's nothing much i can do about it now.


lol i think this post sounds damn depressing, but i needed to rant all this. especially after talking to sarah during 'afternoon training' today. we talked a lot about various people and things. hmmm rather interesting things eh?

i realised that our batch goes mad when we're together. even on tuesday when there was only 3 of us. haha the 3 lame thing that i said bout the shoe, the m thing and about being lame xD this shows how much nonsense we talk about when we're together.


anyway, training today was rather productive. i can now consistently do a dan shou ce shou fan with a dao! =D and we kind of settled the music part liao, like coordinating with our tao. but thanks to that chai who made us run 10 mins when we havent even warmed up my ankle suddenly died. its not really very pain or anything, but its a little swollen o.o


anyway, sec 4s jiayou for jiti! we must train like xiao and get something we deserve this time!

NYWS FTW!

Term 2 week 1 has been IMMENSELY HECTIC AND CRAZY. and it will continue to be. but at least im relieved for now. nothing much to say except that i feel really overwhelmed. history interview, translating, transcribing, lun wen, vvip thing, comps, and all sorts of other stuff that need to be done.


and we have awesome teachers in charge who know nothing but talk shit and push all the blame and responsibility and work to the students and dont bother to do anything. what more is there to say?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARAH!


MWAHAHAHA IM NOT GONNA WRITE A DEDI HERE xD LOL BUT YOU SHOULD GET ONE TOMORROW! ANYWAY, HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME TODAY AND SEE YOU TOMORROW MORNING AT PT!

GRACES! haha it was quite good. but the talks were seriously useless and time consuming =.= and i cannot stand the stupid main speaker. lol but apart from that all the stupid things we did in the rooms and like the meals plus mass camwhoring by like the whole world and of course the dinners were awesome. shall not comment any further for today xD


anyway, i just wanted to remind my batchmates of the upcoming comps!


I SUSPECT WE HAVENT REALISED THAT COMPS ARE OFFICIALLY A MONTH AND A DAY AWAY! LOL SO START WORRYING ABOUT OUR TAO AND ALL THAT. ESPECIALLY SINCE WE NEED TO CHANGE MOVEMENTS CUZ OF STUPID NEW REGULATIONS. LOL YES SO JUZ TO REMIND ALL OF YOU GUYS TO START WORRYING BOUT JITI xD

Had a rather interesting birthday today. Mainly because i went out with wen hui and sharmaine! hahaha you two should be honoured x) Met them in west mall at the entrance of coffee bean and was *aherm* made to wait while they got my card (which they claimed they got 5 days ago). and the card was... different and very interesting. hahaha but yah lah quite creative. 


we shared a large cup of ice blended mocha, like what we did last time at jurong point! oh and wen hui managed to get the staff there to give her like a free cherry on top of our drink XP hahah and we took like endless helpings of the vanilla and choco powder plus free skimmed milk xD omg cheapskate... and 3 of us ended up using 10 cups! oh yeah we were eating tapioca chips as well cuz wen hui brought some. lol as usual we talked and talked about random stuff. its amazing how we never run out of stuff to talk about since we dont meet very often, but im quite glad its that way =D oh and we decided to conquer all the coffee beans there are in singapore, so we'll meet at some other place with coffee bean the next time wh comes back to singapore. wen hui u better not lose that receipt! go frame it up or something xD


went to like kfc where sharmaine wanted to buy the egg tarts, but me and wh were convince that it was too ex, so we ended up not buying it. lol but what happened at kfc was like damn funny. sharmaine and wh were trying to ask the kfc staff how big the eggtart was. then the person was like err... i dunno how to say. wh was the best lah 'what's the diamater of the eggtart =.=' and the person juz stoned at her. haha in the end we juz got the person to show us the eggtart. was damn amusing, but i pity the kfc staff cuz we didnt get anything in the end xD


finally we settled down at burger king and talked for a loooooooonnnnnnnnngggggggggggg time =D about various stuff like life in france where you're either with the popular kids or you're a loser. and bout how rich ppl can afford to hire a limo for someone else on their birthday O.O WOW. haha then we started talking bout where wh is gonna hold her birthday party in singapore. lol all those hotels and the $700 suites! haha i cant believe i've known them for like 6 years. but i had a lot of fun juz hanging out with them for like 2 and a half hours today =P


Anyway, thanks to all the rest who wished me a happy birthday! haha and thanks to sarah for the long dedi.

nothing much to say. just that the drums practice today was good! we learnt the whole song that we're performing. actually, it does sound quite cool when everything is put together. lol but i feel screwed about my part, cuz today's the first time we're trying everything together, but i can only make it for the last practice which is like the full dress rehearsal. plus their gonna learn the movements tmr but there's training.


不知道为什么，最近总觉得怪怪的。每天总觉得很累，什么都不想做，什么也不想管，什么也不要想。透不过气的日子真的受够了。如果能抛开一切，让自己的日子好过该有多好。

NYWS FTW!

wushu performance for CNY was awesome!


the response during the performance was juz amazing. i never knew wushu was so well received by nanyang. when the emcee was announcing that wushu was going to be the next performance the applause given was way louder than what anyone of us was expecting. and wow when i entered the stage the atmosphere was juz amazing! =D


for the first time in my four years in nanyang I felt that the school was like 100% supportive of wushu and that the whole school acknowledged our efforts. lol right now im still feeling damn proud of nyws and our whole batch!


we really put in a lot of effort for jiti as well as the qi. and it meant so much to us since it was our first and last time performing in front of the whole school during chinese new year celebrations. all that i remember of the past 2 or 3 weeks of school apart from lessons is juz wushu, wushu and wushu. we lianed jiti like mad and had to face certain people in the process of attempting to lian. but on friday we really felt that everything we put in was worth it, and the feeling was amazing. i suspect i felt more nervous than i was for comps.


i think our whole batch is feeling damn ego right now xD but we never exactly had the chance to feel like this before. and i can still feel the adrenaline we had during the whole performance. all i can say is that the cny performance was awesome and we performed one of the best taos we ever did xD


jiayou for jiti everyone! and we'll own comps like we did on friday! =P

挺有意思的

微笑露一点

说话轻一点

脾气小一点

肚量大一点

理由少一点

做事多一点

效率高一点

行动快一点

脑筋活一点

嘴巴甜一点

这些你办得到吗？

some people are incorrigible

i really wonder how unreasonable things can get. it seems that some people really have no sense of shame they dont even realise they're lying.


Koped from sarah (cuz it really shows how ridiculous some people can be)


Something for you to figure out:

1. 10 people (guess who) walk into the rooftop hall and see 3 Sec 4 Wushu girls sitting in
the middle of the carpet, looking like they need to redefine 'slackers'. The 10 people have a booking for the rooftop hall, and urgently need to use it, for reasons that are divulged on a need-to-know basis. And hey, we don't N to K. So what do the 10 people do?

a) Tell the Wushu people to get out, please.

b) Tackle them 3 to 1, and drag them bodily out of the rooftop hall.

c) Leave sobbing quietly because the Wushu girls are bad and scary.

d) Stand there and stare at the Wushu girls for 10 minutes, then leave and go complain to their teacher IC that the Wushu girls suck because they have no eye-power-telepathy-thingy skills at all. Ergo, they didn't know they were supposed to leave, and just sat there looking like they needed to redefine "slackers".

I'd have guessed a or b. I might chance c, but only if cloning Venus got legalized.

Therefore, my score = 0/1, because the answer is d.






its amazing how they could rush in to the wuguan and stare at us for like 10 minutes without uttering a single word. and its not as if we were doing jiti. the three of us were juz sitting there discussing about jiti, not that we took our daos and put it at their necks, threatening to kill them if they didnt get out of the wuguan =.= 


then these smart people decide that we somehow have the power to let them know that we want them to get out of the wuguan without us telling them anything. and they run crying to their oh so wonderful teacher in charge that we CHASED THEM OUT OF THE WUGUAN.


oh wow, like wushu people are evil and unreasonable maniacs that will eat you up if you refuse to abide by their wishes. sure. i would have slaughtered these unreasonable people like a million years ago if we were really like that. nothing much to say about these people, cuz im juz lowering myself attempting to talk about them. just amazing how these people can exist eh? 


i wouldnt be able to appear so proud of my shameless acts.




hope the rehearsal tomorrow wont be a waste of time like monday.

天理何在?

Today sucked like shit. Good thing the ppl who had stuff on didnt cancel it to go for the practically non existent rehearsal. We went there and 2.30 and waited in the hall like idiots cuz the teachers had no idea what they were doing, and instead of focusing on the performances they decided to focus on the emcees instead. Like hello, the emcees can rehearse anywhere in the school and they have to spend 'rehearsal time' telling getting the emcees to practice?

CO barely played much before they got cut off and asked to stop the rehearsal. but i suspect they were on stage for like an hour, and all because of the emcees. wow. then they get wushu to go next and start scolding us just because we didnt enter the stage when the music started. how on earth do you expect us to enter the stage if there's this endless stream of ppl coming out with instruments? obviously you let them come out before you go in lah =.= and we were scolded for not being prepared cuz of that, despite my attempts to explain it to an LA teacher. common sense?

then they smartly asked the ppl to play the music, let the sec 3s go out and do jitiquan, and told them to restart when they were almost done. wth? and the playing of music was damn screwed. plus some people really dont seem to understand who is in charge of doing what. she kept telling us that the music would play after the curtains were drawn and went on and on cuz some ppl didnt catch it. but seriously, its' go nothing to do with us, cuz our cue is the music, and we obviously wont go out with the curtains drawn.

just when everyone thought we were going to get a proper rehearsal, someone told us to juz do our ending move when emily barely started her tao, meaning that only jitiquan got to do something substantial. and wow thats the end of the damn rehearsal. the reason for only doing the start and end? ITS A TECHNICAL REHEARSAL!

YAH RIGHT. everything changes the moment chinese dance appears. juz because its chen lili doesnt mean she can have her way in everything. while wushu practically couldnt do anything, chinese dance could do the whole damn thing twice during a TECHNICAL REHEARSAL, with chen lili at the side correcting their mistakes, meaning that they were rectifying their moves during a TECHNICAL REHEARSAL. seriously, what the hell.

and so we decided to go up to the wu guan and lian instead. but no, modern dance was using the wu guan. and they refused to budge at all despite the fact that we having a damn performance next week and that they were only using half of the space in the wu guan.

the best part was the one on the rolling up of the di tan. Apparently, we have to roll up the carpet on thursday after wushu, so as to let modern dance have a conducive environment for their oh so wonderful dance practice. and modern dance will not roll the carpet back because they are being kind and doing us a favour! they claim that not rolling up the carpet will make it easier for the cleaners to clean up the carpet, and so by not rolling back the carpet they are ensuring that our wuguan is kept nice and clean! wow, such kind souls. i dont see how cleaning the floor helps keep the carpet clean because the way the cleaners clean the carpet is by vacuuming the TOP of the carpet. not the bottom you idiot.

is it not basic courtesy to put things back in order if you're using someone else's place? and not come up with such ridiculous and senseless excuses to make it seem like whatever it is that you're doing is such a selfless act. to think that came from a teacher. its not just warped reasoning. its total bullshit. how can you say something like that and give such a shameless explanation?

what is wushu? its considered nothing i suppose, from the treatment we got today. everyone wasted 2 hours to do nothing in the hall. everyone was going crazy about the rehearsal cuz we juz got notified yesterday and we actually tried to come. for that worthless thing. after doing nothing on stage, we had to watch chinese dance do their TECHNICAL REHEARSAL by rehearsing their WHOLE performance twice. then we go up to our rightful training area that is also known as the rooftop hall/MULTI PURPOSE hall (when it shouldn't be so) and get chased out, at the same time having to listen to shameless people cover up their actions.

the rehearsal on monday better be a proper one, or else i'll really chop some people up into a million bits cuz we're not going to all that trouble of wearing byf and warming up if we arent even given a chance to rehearse properly.

After reading Jean's post, i decided that i should make a list of things i want to do/get in 2010.

1) A GOLD IN JITI! - Really desperate for it! i really want to end the comps as sec 4s on a high and get something that we can all be really proud of for a really long time to come. i know we all want it really badly.

2) Put in more effort during training - Somehow i always entertain thoughts of slacking during training, but this is the last year and a last chance at at least a medal or maybe even a gold, following last years' disappointment. Trying harder during training something that obviously helps but always it always seem rather difficult to put in my best.

3) Stop slacking and wake up - Frankly speaking, i think that for the past 3 years that i've been in nanyang, i've been wasting my time away by slacking and just not bothering to do much. Obviously i didn't get satisfactory grades, let alone desirable ones. I want to actually put in a substantial amount of effort and not let the rotting of results continue.

4) Minimum 70% overall for each subject - Expecting too much of myself? I don't know. Compared to most people, my results/expectations are considered too low. But who cares?

5) Play basketball again! - Been AGES since i played basketball! When i was in China and i was attempting to shoot with the bball during the free time we had, i realised how long it has been since i touched a bball. Now there really isn't anyone in nanyang left to play with. I mean, how can we ever play a match? Like jean said, must get eggy, tiny, jia yu and wei ning all out again to play bball.

To be continued...

Finally decided to post. Wanted to post after shanghai trip, but i was really too lazy. And when school started, there was so much work given and stuff going on that i didnt have time to post. lol but i dont really have anything much in mind to talk about now. maybe bout jiti.

i know this should have been said a really long time ago, but our jiti ending is damn cool! adding on to the fact that we came up with it without the help of the jiaolians make it even better. i really really want to get something at comps this year! cant imagine facing what we had to face last year... and its like our last year in nanyang already. but frankly speaking, our standard right now is really quite far from what we should be if we want to get a medal. means that we have to put in more effort and time if we are to be close to what we want to get. hope it turns out right this time.