看来我太高估自己了

talk about being insignificant. or rather not being treated like you exist or are part of anything. so much for the supposed team talk. seriously? i would suppose some of you read this and probably would be able to guess what im talking about but that doesn't bother me at all. simply because i no longer give a damn. training? what's that for? is there a point in doing all this juz to be told that you're not fit to be considered part of their noble journey towards ______________ whatever it is.


thanks a lot for letting me regret 'my decision'. at least i know that what i would have chosen   would have been the right choice. that i was discerning enough.

training on wed was the most productive ever. did 4 整套！which is quite crazy considering that prior to that the number of 整套 that i did doesn't even total up to 4. getting used to the whole wushu thing again, even though not competing is taking quite a bit out of that feeling i always had in the build-up to comps. doesnt quite make sense till now. and it probably won't ever.


alyssa was saying something about how we went one whole circle and ended up joining wushu anyway. i kinda agree, although there's still this thing bout soccer that i feel regretful about. it's like the connection to whatever happened then is broken simply cuz i know that i won't play it again, not in that context anyway. not without a heck for anything else. the worst part being that all this wasn't even what i chose. not that i wouldn't feel the same if i didn't join wushu especially during comps, just that i would still be able to go back to it somehow. not by actually doing wushu, but by the people and stuff. for some time at least.