math lecture test results =.= lol a lot more =.= than the crazy amount of people claiming the screwed it. and why do we have results for history! for the record, i have no idea if it's international or southeast asia or both. how smart. not that the results are desirable anyway. 

bsp symposium yesterday was better than previous years in terms of people who presented their lunwens (haha cuz i know them) and the fact that i was awake most of the time. other stuff like the food, the venue, the speakers they invited was juz not there. the best part was the prize presentation ceremony! xD we get a cool medal for all the effort we put into the lunwen! plus it has my name! lol but apart from that the whole lunwen thing is quite weird. cuz after we submit it, that's it. especially for people like me who got bronze cuz we didn't need to present, and we dun even get our lunwen or any 评语 back =.= i want to know how it was! mainly cuz we need to write another lunwen next year, so kind of need it for reference, but apparently moe doesn't think so. 


thanks to 低调 for celebrating my birthday yesterday! =D although it was so belated! juz because it's not one month late doesn't mean it's fine okay x) we basically ate a lot at like pastamania and secret recipe. lol it was the first time most of us took circle line leh! haha like yiming said “我把我的第一次给了你们。第一坐” xDDD i think 低调owns lah. we totally juz settle everything in front of each other, and we kind of gossiped a lot. except that zhiqi is stuck in pulau ubin and couldn't go =.=


on a random note, 王识贤 is DAH BOMB(lol victoria's style man, but quite apt). saw 王识贤 on 百万 on monday and he's really damn power at hokkien songs. so is 张信哲！haha i must go get hold of his other 2398645309470247 albums cuz the rate he releases albums is crazy.

但我的愛多強悍 出乎妳預料

简直欺人太甚。你总是吧你认为正确的，应该做的选择强加在别人身上。真是难以相信我曾经以为你这个人还蛮开通的。照你说名立场的态度看来，我是非顺你的意不可了。如果你打从一开始就不打算给我任何选择的余地，又何必装出一幅给我自主权的样子? 你竟然让犹豫不决的我三番四次的为此而困惑，让我在两者之间做一个选择。而当我好不容易下定决心以后，你竟然好意思告诉我你心中早有定夺，根本轮不得我。我最终当然会随你的意，不过我能很肯定地说，我绝对会后悔，而且这决定会留下不可磨灭的遗憾。一个你所赐给我的遗憾。

i can't believe im saying this again, but seriously? what's the point of being so upfront about your choices, appearing to be so enthu and yet try time and again to miss as much as you can? it's quite amazing, whatever you're doing now. valid reasons don't even matter since you never bother to even make up one, and when you do, it's obviously something you came up with on the spot. this is like direct to the max but it's kinda expected, no? surely you didn't think we would be all nice and forgiving and forget about all this when you're constantly giving us fresh things to gripe about.  

极限早被践踏了

對占星執迷
需要空洞的鼓勵
才認清自己
逞強終究 只是逃避

放棄止痛劑 跟記憶 迎面交集
我依然堅持 回到家才哭泣

我的極限 就到這裡
就算永遠 不能痊癒
太害怕安靜
所以習慣 自言自語

你的極限 也在這裡
別跨越 我失序的心
如果我是你
會更殘酷離去

副作用不明 但意志 還算清醒
我真的慶幸 不曾自我否定



yesterday was a disappointment. or rather one that i should have expected. wasn't surprised, juz pissed that it has become the norm, no? it's been like that for as long as i remember and it doesn't seem like it's gonna stop anytime soon. in fact i was so pissed yesterday that i almost decided for sure that i was not gonna wushu since you guys aren't making an effort. even when you already confirmed with shunxiang. what's with the reluctance?! dude, enough said. i could do this all day.


on to better things. my class has 18 ppl! juz like in henry park and 213. the story goes like this. on the first day we go into our CTs, there are 20 plus ppl in there, with the guys practically non existent. somehow by the second day we are down to 18 cuz ppl transferred out. on wed, this guy came in during seniors meet juniors, said he was joining our class, and promptly transferred the same day (we only saw him for 2 hours =.=) come today another guy joins our class. and before we know it, deja vu =.= guess what, he transferred out today! and so the current head count stands at 18 (to be confirmed though  -.-''')

拿人钱财，替人消灾

meeting yang liu later on for lunwen. hopefully whatever we sent to her yesterday is of an okay standard. spent like the entire day yesterday getting people to do survey/discussing how to write nei rong zhai yao/editing the lunwen/digressing and forcing myself to go back to lunwen. it's kinda worrying that im not really worried about the fact the lunwen is due on thurs considering the miserable amount of effort zhiqi and i put into it compared to the other scholars. and according to yang liu, this year's judges are gonna focus more on 语文和文法, which spells doom. not that our content is up to standard anyway. obviously we aren't expecting to 得奖 or present at the 论文研讨会. actually, im hoping we don't get to since we'll probably falter at the Q & A part so much so that the judges will wonder if we actually did the lunwen. lol but at the very least they probably won't revoke the scholarship (i hope) once they see the standard of our lunwen.


omg hopeless ranting again. but whatever it is, we'll churn out something by thursday, and after that it's goodbye to lunwen! for a while at least. before csc steps in and offers me another lunwen. this offer is pretty much the same, compulsory and all. only difference being the fact that we're on our own and it's gonna be a major part of our final grades. the deal just gets better, doesn't it?

ah craps what's with the rush to decide on a cca? and like tuesday? there's no way i could decide by then. actually this could juz go on forever and i'll never be able to choose. indecisive much? from what i heard, the time when we officially choose a cca is on the last day of orientation which is like aeons away, and gives me a reason to choose later on. went for the soccer training and well quite liked it. plus i was talking quite a bit with weining =D


i've been thinking about cca choices all the time and the process kinda goes like this. soccer or wushu? wushu, cuz i've been doing it for 4 years, plus there are batchmates who are joining. but there's like ...................................... and ..................................... which are compelling reasons not to join. so soccer. the training's not bad, i like the sport but i haven't played it in damn long. and then it all evens out. could i join both? well sure =.= only if i was zai in both sports or something. what bout hacas? im interested and could join it as a second cca since commitment isn't that high. but like, soccer or wushu?


okay that was draggy and pointless and i hope you didn't force yourself to read through all that. but the point is, no matter how much i think about it, i'll never be able to decide. how bout not joining a cca then? yeah sure =.= and hey, we're back at square one. so the point is? it's pointless to think about it since i'll never decide. lol okay this whole post is a drag and pretty much crap.


and. im not supposed to be here. lunwen! haven't been doing much the past few days, which is not a good sign at all since we're supposed to hand in on the 27th. and if you're reading this, go do our survey!
https://spreadsheets.google.com/viewform?formkey=dHVUUGhUeC1tWnVwZGhveU44Y0hOOGc6MQ