That's my so called life

that's it.

2012-02-07T23:20:00.000+08:00

放棄止痛劑跟記憶迎面交集
我依然堅持回到家才哭泣

我的極限就到這裡
就算永遠不能痊癒
太害怕安靜
所以習慣自言自語

痛定思痛

2012-02-07T23:05:00.000+08:00

昨天投篮的每一个“差一点”果真为接下来漩涡式的心情起伏埋下了伏笔。我真的不知道要怎么表达心中的那种痛，更加也没有一个真正能倾诉的对象，体会我心情的人。这样莫名其妙的被贬到备用的地位，又得眼睁睁的看着其他人占据原本可属于自己的位置，心中纠结不堪。最令人心痛的是，从理性的角度来看，我根本是谁也没资格怨，更加没有诉苦的权利或是让人为我感到不值，到抱不平的理由。除了漠不关心，也只有同情。虽然我付出的努力可能不及你们的要求，足以让我避免被忽视的命运吧。对于处在那种尴尬又心痛的情况下我，真的不知道还能怎么样了。

我真的是心力交瘁，筋疲力尽了。收手吧，睁开双眼看看周围的人心情到底有多纠结，多苦闷。千万别再埋怨自己处于的环境，因为我没你过得好，也没有任何同情你的理由。如果焦色对调，对我反倒更好。

痛定思痛，痛更痛。

think about the bloody consequences

2011-09-22T01:32:00.000+08:00

ARGH *@$#!&%@&@

WHY AM I MADE TO FEEL SO GUILTY SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU ALL CONVENIENTLY THREW ALL THE RESPONSIBILITY TO ME. I BECAME THE ONE RESPONSIBLE FOR ACCOUNTING YOUR BEHAVIOUR. SORRY IF IM DIFFERENT FROM YOU AND GET AFFECTED SO EASILY BY SUCH STUFF THAT I FEEL ARE TOTALLY AGAINST MY CONSCIENCE EVEN THOUGH I DIDN'T EVEN DO IT. IF I WASN'T DRAGGED INTO THIS AND DIDN'T GET AFFECTED SO MUCH, I WOULDN'T GIVE A DAMN.

how is it that some people can do outrageous things and not even realise their mistake when explicitly pointed out by others? and please have the courage to express your true feelings. no need to try so hard so put on a false front and act like nothing happened.

反正我对得起天地良心，而且并不认为在处理这件事方面有任何不妥。更何况你们把你们应该面对的谴责转到我身上，害得我因为这件事无辜的被连累。我知道有些人一定不爽到爆，不过我也管不了那么多。有可能经过这件事后，一切都会不一样，我们所熟悉的一切也会彻底的改变。可我决不会后悔，因为我至少过得了自己这一关。

免费的展览都没人看

2011-05-12T22:28:00.000+08:00

haven't posted in so long and the first thing im gonna do is rant.

disgusting. that's probably that most apt word to describe you. making yourself a nuisance all the time is really something unprecedented. i do get pissed off everytime i see you. or maybe not. sometimes i laugh, at you of course. the best part is that you don't seem to understand it. why are you like permanently in exile, constantly kept out of range? it's not just a moment of bitching or an occasional biased view. if we needed case studies for all the weaknesses that you have, we'd have to study SEA ten times over. if you talk about pushovers who make their mark later on in life and that you're gonna follow that path in future, then congrats. but when you get there, think back and remember those people who played a vital role in pushing you around and helping you to elevate from your loser status. provided that ever happens.

看来我太高估自己了

2011-04-04T01:08:00.000+08:00

talk about being insignificant. or rather not being treated like you exist or are part of anything. so much for the supposed team talk. seriously? i would suppose some of you read this and probably would be able to guess what im talking about but that doesn't bother me at all. simply because i no longer give a damn. training? what's that for? is there a point in doing all this juz to be told that you're not fit to be considered part of their noble journey towards ______________ whatever it is.

thanks a lot for letting me regret 'my decision'. at least i know that what i would have chosen would have been the right choice. that i was discerning enough.

2011-04-02T18:42:00.000+08:00

training on wed was the most productive ever. did 4 整套！which is quite crazy considering that prior to that the number of 整套 that i did doesn't even total up to 4. getting used to the whole wushu thing again, even though not competing is taking quite a bit out of that feeling i always had in the build-up to comps. doesnt quite make sense till now. and it probably won't ever.

alyssa was saying something about how we went one whole circle and ended up joining wushu anyway. i kinda agree, although there's still this thing bout soccer that i feel regretful about. it's like the connection to whatever happened then is broken simply cuz i know that i won't play it again, not in that context anyway. not without a heck for anything else. the worst part being that all this wasn't even what i chose. not that i wouldn't feel the same if i didn't join wushu especially during comps, just that i would still be able to go back to it somehow. not by actually doing wushu, but by the people and stuff. for some time at least.

2011-03-20T00:19:00.000+08:00

math lecture test results =.= lol a lot more =.= than the crazy amount of people claiming the screwed it. and why do we have results for history! for the record, i have no idea if it's international or southeast asia or both. how smart. not that the results are desirable anyway.

2011-03-16T18:45:00.001+08:00

bsp symposium yesterday was better than previous years in terms of people who presented their lunwens (haha cuz i know them) and the fact that i was awake most of the time. other stuff like the food, the venue, the speakers they invited was juz not there. the best part was the prize presentation ceremony! xD we get a cool medal for all the effort we put into the lunwen! plus it has my name! lol but apart from that the whole lunwen thing is quite weird. cuz after we submit it, that's it. especially for people like me who got bronze cuz we didn't need to present, and we dun even get our lunwen or any 评语 back =.= i want to know how it was! mainly cuz we need to write another lunwen next year, so kind of need it for reference, but apparently moe doesn't think so.

thanks to 低调 for celebrating my birthday yesterday! =D although it was so belated! juz because it's not one month late doesn't mean it's fine okay x) we basically ate a lot at like pastamania and secret recipe. lol it was the first time most of us took circle line leh! haha like yiming said “我把我的第一次给了你们。第一坐” xDDD i think 低调owns lah. we totally juz settle everything in front of each other, and we kind of gossiped a lot. except that zhiqi is stuck in pulau ubin and couldn't go =.=

on a random note, 王识贤 is DAH BOMB(lol victoria's style man, but quite apt). saw 王识贤 on 百万 on monday and he's really damn power at hokkien songs. so is 张信哲！haha i must go get hold of his other 2398645309470247 albums cuz the rate he releases albums is crazy.

但我的愛多強悍出乎妳預料

2011-02-26T23:13:00.000+08:00

简直欺人太甚。你总是吧你认为正确的，应该做的选择强加在别人身上。真是难以相信我曾经以为你这个人还蛮开通的。照你说名立场的态度看来，我是非顺你的意不可了。如果你打从一开始就不打算给我任何选择的余地，又何必装出一幅给我自主权的样子? 你竟然让犹豫不决的我三番四次的为此而困惑，让我在两者之间做一个选择。而当我好不容易下定决心以后，你竟然好意思告诉我你心中早有定夺，根本轮不得我。我最终当然会随你的意，不过我能很肯定地说，我绝对会后悔，而且这决定会留下不可磨灭的遗憾。一个你所赐给我的遗憾。

2011-02-17T00:11:00.000+08:00

i can't believe im saying this again, but seriously? what's the point of being so upfront about your choices, appearing to be so enthu and yet try time and again to miss as much as you can? it's quite amazing, whatever you're doing now. valid reasons don't even matter since you never bother to even make up one, and when you do, it's obviously something you came up with on the spot. this is like direct to the max but it's kinda expected, no? surely you didn't think we would be all nice and forgiving and forget about all this when you're constantly giving us fresh things to gripe about.

极限早被践踏了

2011-02-10T22:14:00.000+08:00

對占星執迷
需要空洞的鼓勵
才認清自己
逞強終究只是逃避

放棄止痛劑跟記憶迎面交集
我依然堅持回到家才哭泣

我的極限就到這裡
就算永遠不能痊癒
太害怕安靜
所以習慣自言自語

你的極限也在這裡
別跨越我失序的心
如果我是你
會更殘酷離去

副作用不明但意志還算清醒
我真的慶幸不曾自我否定

yesterday was a disappointment. or rather one that i should have expected. wasn't surprised, juz pissed that it has become the norm, no? it's been like that for as long as i remember and it doesn't seem like it's gonna stop anytime soon. in fact i was so pissed yesterday that i almost decided for sure that i was not gonna wushu since you guys aren't making an effort. even when you already confirmed with shunxiang. what's with the reluctance?! dude, enough said. i could do this all day.

on to better things. my class has 18 ppl! juz like in henry park and 213. the story goes like this. on the first day we go into our CTs, there are 20 plus ppl in there, with the guys practically non existent. somehow by the second day we are down to 18 cuz ppl transferred out. on wed, this guy came in during seniors meet juniors, said he was joining our class, and promptly transferred the same day (we only saw him for 2 hours =.=) come today another guy joins our class. and before we know it, deja vu =.= guess what, he transferred out today! and so the current head count stands at 18 (to be confirmed though -.-''')

拿人钱财，替人消灾

2011-01-25T13:45:00.000+08:00

meeting yang liu later on for lunwen. hopefully whatever we sent to her yesterday is of an okay standard. spent like the entire day yesterday getting people to do survey/discussing how to write nei rong zhai yao/editing the lunwen/digressing and forcing myself to go back to lunwen. it's kinda worrying that im not really worried about the fact the lunwen is due on thurs considering the miserable amount of effort zhiqi and i put into it compared to the other scholars. and according to yang liu, this year's judges are gonna focus more on 语文和文法, which spells doom. not that our content is up to standard anyway. obviously we aren't expecting to 得奖 or present at the 论文研讨会. actually, im hoping we don't get to since we'll probably falter at the Q & A part so much so that the judges will wonder if we actually did the lunwen. lol but at the very least they probably won't revoke the scholarship (i hope) once they see the standard of our lunwen.

omg hopeless ranting again. but whatever it is, we'll churn out something by thursday, and after that it's goodbye to lunwen! for a while at least. before csc steps in and offers me another lunwen. this offer is pretty much the same, compulsory and all. only difference being the fact that we're on our own and it's gonna be a major part of our final grades. the deal just gets better, doesn't it?

2011-01-23T13:30:00.000+08:00

ah craps what's with the rush to decide on a cca? and like tuesday? there's no way i could decide by then. actually this could juz go on forever and i'll never be able to choose. indecisive much? from what i heard, the time when we officially choose a cca is on the last day of orientation which is like aeons away, and gives me a reason to choose later on. went for the soccer training and well quite liked it. plus i was talking quite a bit with weining =D

i've been thinking about cca choices all the time and the process kinda goes like this. soccer or wushu? wushu, cuz i've been doing it for 4 years, plus there are batchmates who are joining. but there's like ...................................... and ..................................... which are compelling reasons not to join. so soccer. the training's not bad, i like the sport but i haven't played it in damn long. and then it all evens out. could i join both? well sure =.= only if i was zai in both sports or something. what bout hacas? im interested and could join it as a second cca since commitment isn't that high. but like, soccer or wushu?

okay that was draggy and pointless and i hope you didn't force yourself to read through all that. but the point is, no matter how much i think about it, i'll never be able to decide. how bout not joining a cca then? yeah sure =.= and hey, we're back at square one. so the point is? it's pointless to think about it since i'll never decide. lol okay this whole post is a drag and pretty much crap.

and. im not supposed to be here. lunwen! haven't been doing much the past few days, which is not a good sign at all since we're supposed to hand in on the 27th. and if you're reading this, go do our survey!
https://spreadsheets.google.com/viewform?formkey=dHVUUGhUeC1tWnVwZGhveU44Y0hOOGc6MQ

2011-01-21T23:39:00.000+08:00

it seems like no matter how much we say, the whole eye candy thing is still there. wow, this is really confusing, isn't it? have we not made it clear? i mean like, all i said in my post was hc wushu. it seems that you know me really well since you figured i was only concerned about the eye candy after reading my post where no one was pointed out. for your information, eye candy does not last, especially if you view it on a constant basis, no? and after that we get sick of it and move on to find the next target.

so why waste 2 years on that?

对了，以后当你随便炮轰别人（尤其是根本都不认识的人）的时候，请你搞清楚状况，而不是在那瞎掰，免得惹人笑话。

2011-01-20T22:28:00.002+08:00

wow it seems like i took the friendly gestures that was non detectable for granted eh? well, im sorry if we simply have too high an expectation of what good hospitality is. since im regarded as a loser/retard, i suppose i juz don't deserve any gestures of goodwill.

那我也只能说你们的好意太过高尚，我这种等级的人根本无法察觉，更加承受不起。真的不好意思，辜负你所谓存在的好意。

one more thing, please get your facts right. for someone who wasn't even there, im sure you're in a position to judge what i wrote.

2011-01-17T23:27:00.000+08:00

first day at hc was average. cept that we were all walking round like idiots as though we weren't yet students of hwa chong. it seems as though they aren't responsible for telling us all the stuff that we're supposed to know. so long as we're in hc and we know the program, hey we're fine! i mean, we're juz like the hc guys who have been wearing their uniform for a year, should know how the heck to tuck the shirt in, and know how to get around the school campus.

sure.

is that indifference constant throughout or something? or rather the 'leave you there to rot and die on your own' mindset. it was like that when we went for the open house, and somehow despite knowing quite some people there, no one seemed to bother to talk to us, or even acknowledge our presence. and somehow we put our names down on that paper.

and then it was the same again today. like hello, we aren't in hc wushu but it doesn't mean that we should be left to one side. realised this is kinda obvious, but like seriously. well, im not quite sure this is the kind of cca i would join. but it's not like i'll be of any importance anyway, since we're like down here and you're like up there, and we probably wont even be needed to make the numbers or anything. plus the exploding amount of awkwardness and weirdness when we were there is really more than enough to put people off. and with our 见不得光 wushu (skills? - if it's considered), i wonder how i will ever survive if i do decide that way.

the 27th?! WTF.

2011-01-08T19:08:00.000+08:00

spent the entire day on 论文. damn crap lah, but the deadline suddenly drops out of nowhere and your originally 100% free holidays juz went poof.

and now we come to the new decade

2011-01-01T23:38:00.000+08:00

finally posting! and all because it's the awesome 01-01-2011. so what have i done in the past 2 months since graduation? first half of november was spent slacking and attempting to get myself to study for malay, before FINALLY completing the msp o level on the 16th. had a month of internship after that which was originally part of the 2 week wep. measly pay, but awesome experience. the 2 weeks after that have juz been spent slacking, sleeping, watching tv, and catching all those dramas that i never had time to watch.

went to some kranji farm o spend the christmas weekend and the highlight was probably that 'mini getai' they had there. and the best part is that i found out i knew most of those lao ge that they sang, but all those songs were buried somewhere in my head unknown to me.

坐在那听老歌的感觉实在是太棒，有种难以捉摸的亲切感。

oh yeah watched the channel 8 countdown yesterday night. most of the singing was quite good, but i have to say something bout the 只对你有感觉 that dai yang tian and co sang. it was terrible =.= sorry to all their ardent fans out there but i really felt that there were times when they 冷场 and didn't seem sure about what they were supposed to sing, which is rather telling about their singing.

haven't posted in so long that i really don't know how to continue this. so there.

2010-11-03T19:29:00.000+08:00

graduation tomorrow. it all feels so fast, especially with the chinese lessons. im sure we'll all miss nanyang, but probably what we miss most is the sense of belonging. it's like how we've gotten so used to life in nanyang and it's become our comfort zone. the classroom, 武馆, the hall, canteen, all the people. we've probably become settled so snugly that we hate to get out of this, just like how we hate getting out of bed when its raining damn heavily and the weather is damn cooling. the thing about jc is that it doesnt feel like you really belong in any place? considering that most of the time we'll be in lectures, not classrooms. which then comes to the point of ccas. the thing about joining wushu in jc is that i'll having to break out of that comfort zone of wushu in nanyang. cuz the situation isn't the same even though it's the same cca. for people like me who dun have a dying passion for wushu, it's the people and the environment that make the difference. that was present in nyws, but in hc? maybe.

it's the first time im going to a new school when i know like so many people. it took damn long to adjust from pei hwa to henry park, then from henry park to nanyang. i'd always thought that starting afresh was worse than going into a familiar environment. now that i think about it, things might be a lot easier and simpler starting anew. having said all that, im probably still not ready and definitely don't want to leave. and a big thank you to all those people who've made a part of my nanyang life!

something really apt

2010-10-27T22:41:00.000+08:00

From kyx! lol koped from one of his notes.

Take off your shoes. Wear mine. Walk around a little. How does it feel?

Not that I ask too much. It's akin to a competition: sometimes we participate and don't get the result we want. Though we might accept that those above us deserve their placing, we still have every right to be disappointed. It's the same thing.

You think of the people before us, how they were different. But is that analogy valid? Let us examine it by means of another analogy. The analogy to an analogy. Concentric circles. How inceptive.

Consider two students. Their relative proficiencies in the various subjects are irrelevant. One aims for a 3.6, the other wants a 4.0. They both get 3.8. Though they both get the same thing, the first student is happy; the second isn't. Call him stupid for aiming for an unrealistic 4.0, but the quest for perfection is an admirable undertaking. Tread softly, because you tread on his dreams.

From here on, it's a simple matter: what do you do when you've given your all but your all is not enough?

What do you do when you've tried your best but it does not manifest?

The dauntless intrepid one goes: try harder!

The tiny voice in the back of your head screams: I've tried my best!

The pragmatist goes: give up.

Alas, we are humans, and humans are we; easier options are preferred. The pragmatist wins again.

Besides, sometimes, by the time you realise that it's not enough, it's too late to try again.

And there is one logical outcome: apostasy.

When you're not happy with what you're given, you can decide that you'd rather have nothing. So you throw it all away and wander around in search of greener pastures. In short, severance.

But giving something up is never easy. It's a long, painstaking process that stretches over days, even months. Yet, for the sake of a brighter future, it must be done. We can only move on by cutting the restraints that tether us.

But it is not to be! Halfway through the process, they call you back, threatening to jeopardise whatever progress you have made! And you would have to start again, from step one. You'd have to relive the opening throes of the Severance. An unpleasant thought at best.

In the end, you find yourself looking in from outside the window.

Call it hypocrisy. Call it betrayal. I don't need your pity or sympathy. I don't even expect your empathy. In fact, I don't know why I'm even accounting for my actions. But I hope that you respect my decisions. Indeed, we all encounter choices in our life. When one door closes, another opens. Perhaps, when one door opens, another closes. Maybe the opening of one door necessitates the closing of another.

And with this, I unfetter my burdened conscience.

I am free.

2010-10-24T16:40:00.000+08:00

when i went to tze's house on friday, i seriously felt like stealing her entire collection of 武侠shows. it's like she has whatever you can name lah. okay maybe except for those serials like 少年杨家将，but apart from that, all those that she has is like... awesome. haha i borrowed 雪山飞狐，新如来神掌 and 风云2 from her after spending like damn long choosing. heh but i probably will borrow more from her once im done, although that'll take a while given that 武侠shows are relatively long in general and that i already have uh the shows currently airing on tv to watch.

神机妙算刘伯温 ended last thursday! there are actually 7 parts to the series, but somehow mediacorp stopped airing it after showing 2 parts. its slightly draggy i suppose, but the 'fights' between 刘伯温 and 胡惟庸 are damn interesting, plus there's like a lot of wit involved. and 朱元璋 in the show is really amusing, just that im not entirely sure that's how he was in real life.

oh and 古灵精探 is ending next tues. i think that this show is like on of the better tvb dramas? heh maybe it's juz cuz 郭晋安 is in it, and he's like one of the actors that i like the most. should watch 与敌同行 someday cuz he's apparently some 100% creepy and evil villain in the show. can't quite imagine it cuz he's always more 搞笑派 in shows.

2010-10-23T17:35:00.000+08:00

I suppose i feel quite relieved after EOYs, but there's always something weighing on my mind which makes me feel like: hey, exams are NOT over. of course it's malay O's that are like in forever. or at least seems like it. because when i last checked, there's only about 20 plus days left. and that isn't a lot considering the first 10 days will pass without feeling the need to study, and after which i won't feel like studying either cuz it's the 'holidays'. well, im sure.

went to marina barrage today to learn bout puisi seperti sapak. i suppose i did learn something, but the whole experience felt very -errrrr-. like going all the way to marina barrage to learn about poems. and somehow although we just sat there almost the entire time, it was damn draining. maybe cuz we had to wear long pants despite being outdoors and the weather was really uncooperative. at the very least it didn't rain.

i wonder what's going to happen to my malay after this. im like 99.99% sure that there isn't malay in jc. actually im 100% sure. that 0.01% is juz to give me a glimmer of hope that doesn't exist anyway. makes sense? duh no. but anyway, the point is that if i stop malay after O's then within a year or less I'll be reverted to maybe my sec 1 standard which is really like non-existent. then all the effort put in in these four years is gonna be wasted =.=
damn it lah. why can they offer jap, french and german in jc but not malay? if they did offer malay as a third lang, i would definitely take it, simply cuz it's a continuation from secondary school. that's why it feels so pointless to study for O's when i know that a year later, having that cert won't make much of a difference cuz i can't speak the language anymore.

2010-10-17T18:27:00.000+08:00

kinda surprised to be blogging now. its probably gonna be short though.

next tuesday's gonna be math paper 2, the last EOY paper, the last exam in nanyang. after which there won't be any signs of studying for a whole 3 months. of course, we'll be getting back papers. and its either that you're gonna be disappointed/complaining. In general, people are never pleased with their marks, isn't it? whether you're failing or getting 99%, its the same. like any other person, i want EOYs to come to an end.

but then what? like what is there to do after EOYs? there's no need to study, so it's just slacking off in our last days in nanyang. it just feels very weird... as though our last days in nanyang aren't spent fruitfully.

2010-09-17T10:42:00.000+08:00

maf that day was like wow. like juniors performed and it was okay? i suppose. but the music was terrible. like damn obvious that people didn't put in effort to try and make it more in sync with the performance. and the hc wushu performance was juz epic. most of the guys did 3 xiang in one performance... and the whole standard is like WOW. not that we didnt know how pro they are, but the maf performance totally made us feel 自卑. they're like only a year older than us and the gap in our standard is... and if i end up not joining wushu in jc, then that's probably the main reason. lol maybe being zai is that good cuz u end up scaring people away.

found out that most ccas only had elections/handover a while ago or like are going to have it. wu ya wen cheated us like crap lah. crazy ass somehow decided that oh we need to handover really early this year. best part was that i was in china and got an email from susi saying that wu said we needed to hand over soon, and like a few days later she emailed me the election results. It was freaking hell only early may. neither did i vote nor knew what was going on. like hey, so much for being the captain.

apparently this applied to the whole school and we had handover during the june hols. well, apparently NOT. for wu, it's probably no big deal. i mean like, it's just handover. unfortunately for us, it's not. how long did i have as a captain? technically we had handover in august last year i think, so it should be 10 months. but in actual fact, there wasnt training after that due to eoys, and then i went china for 6 weeks so i only like started proper in december? then this year i left for china on 17th april, day after comps. and before i came back, there was elections. so i was essentially a captain for about 4 months. the whole bsp thing may to be blame for the 6 week trips, but wu made it so much worse. she made us handover at least 2 months in advance. seriously, it doesnt feel like i was the captain cuz i seriously didnt have much time as one, and it felt as though i seriously didn't do anything. the time as a sec 4/captain felt like it ended in april, on the day of comps.

2010-08-25T20:04:00.000+08:00

been wanting to post bout a lot of things, but either no time or just too lazy. this happened quite a while ago, but i still had to say something about it. i didn't see the need for the people in our class to chase the juniors out of the com lab juz cuz we had to do that survey. and obviously no need to tell them to **** off. i don't really care if spewing those words have become a habit for you or if being hostile is your true self, but there was no need to chase the juniors out of the com lab, especially since there were at least 40 computers and only 20 plus ppl in our class. no wonder people hate gepers. if they behave like that, what more can we expect?

pre-funfair and post funfair involved moving 3000 ice pops from audi to home ec room and back down. throughout the whole funfair i probably went up and back down carrying ice/ice pops more than 15 times. plus incessant walking the entire day made funfair pt x 10000. woke up the next day with a stiff upper body and felt paralysed =.=

watched the yog girls and boys soccer semi finals last sat and sun! really damn awesome. first time watching a live soccer match! first semi final was between turkey and chile and it was a lot more entertaining than the second match. and there were a surprisingly large number of turkish supporters in the stands. eventually turkey lost 2-3, but both teams played quite well. all i can say is that turkey is really unlucky cuz their shots hit the woodwork thrice, 2 shots against the posts and 1 against the crossbar.

second match was between equatorial guinea and iran. iran had to wear like long sleeves and stuff cuz of what their country required, but the headgear kind of distracted them during the game i think. like when they head the ball, they had to adjust their headgear to prevent it from falling off. but the game was quite one sided cuz equatorial guinea was really too good for iran and the ball was often stuck in the iranian half, only leaving occasionally. was quite surprised that equatorial guinea took 20 minutes to score. they won 4-1 i think?

O LEVELS!

2010-08-12T20:50:00.000+08:00

malay o levels oral today!

only started last minute prep for it on like yesterday, and chionged today. turns out that the oral was awesome! thanks to the awesome question =D we went to tiong bahru examination centre at about 2 plus and started waiting for the oral to start. it was surprisingly fast cuz all the nanyang people ended by 4pm when the actual oral started at 2.30. thought it would drag till 5 something, cuz like 11 x 15 mins...

question was about pengalaman yang awak tidak akan lupa and apa awak belajar dari pengalaman ini...

i totally wowed at the question cuz it was so broad and the questions cikgu asked us when we were practising were damn specific. i probably spent juz 5 seconds thinking before starting to talk about piala dunia (WORLD CUP AND SOCCER FTW!). lol if not for the fact that I played soccer like mad in primary school and the sort of obsession i have with soccer, i wouldnt have done so many things with relation to soccer for malay. to think i did the glog on piala dunia and i talked about menonton piala dunia for the pengalaman. heh damn satisfied and happy and relieved. especially since everyone was totally in a slacking mode today but 9 of us had to worry bout malay oral.

and the cikgus testing us were awesome! they were damn friendly and juz kept smiling and nodding as i spoke. and the bacaan was uh surprisingly easy, so much easier than the passages cikgu gave us, and there weren't even any numbers. surprisingly, i felt more confident (lol im in a malay mood now. was going to type yakin) when conversing instead of reading out the passage.

can only say that the oral was awesome, and i was damn happy they gave that question. can't believe our written paper is in 3 freaking months time =.= have to revise all over again like 1, 2 months later. the schedule is really... unbelievable

2010-08-11T18:24:00.000+08:00

got back chinese papers today. damn xian lah, almost exactly the same as block test one, which just means that it's sickening. and almost the entire class saw the chem papers even though we didnt have chem. lol mr sit came in towards the end of recess to ask if we wanted to know our marks, and in the end this swarm of people went after him towards the science dept.

ended up not getting back math paper despite her saying so =.= and we're getting back history tmr! probably didn't do very well, but can't expect much anyway, given that my marks have always been that.

and i realised that this block test was the first test/exam that i have taken for like bio, chem and history. the last time was block test 2 last year. lol cuz of all the trips to china, so it turns out that eoys will be my next exam =.=

malay oral tmr! lol i feel screwed cuz i seriously didnt do anything over the long break. didnt know how to prepare so i juz left it there. what i did on tuesday was epic. woke up at like 1.30 and watched about 8 or 9 hours of tv and slept at like 12... quite shiok actually, like how often do you get to do that...

2010-08-08T22:43:00.000+08:00

213th post. guess it took really long to get here. block test was generally manageable although chances are that the results come back being not so manageable. and the block test made me realise something bout jasmine tan. that's she's the most 标准 bitch you'll ever meet. not that i didnt know before that, but this just sealed everything. and i remember that someone reminded me that jasmine is like 茉莉, which is juz such an insult to the flower. i mean, she must have been really bad for me to take so long to realise the connection between her name and the flower.

anyway, inception is like the best movie, ever. its so good that you totally get drawn into the plot, get tricked into thinking that you are part of the show. and the kind of feeling that you get after watching it is just awesome! for once, you feel pretty smart about things, as though you know a lot.

cross country on friday was better than expected. at the very least, the weather wasn't that bad. walked with sarah for like 3km and ran for the last 200m and made it to the finish in 27 mins. it was a bid to make ourselves appear pro at the end. and uh we couldn't quite understand how some people alternated jogging and walking and ended up behind us =.= like seriously... then we had like batch outing at ikea which as usual was rather interesting, in terms of our dining habits? i dunno.

channel 5 is actually showing the community shield match between man u and chelsea. it's probably the first time im seeing an epl match on free to air. and valencia juz scored in like the 41st minute of the game. okay, i really should go watch it now.

NYWS FTW!

2010-08-02T19:27:00.003+08:00

20th July 2010, Tuesday
Sarah Quek, Grace Koh, Ta Susiwati, Hsu Yi Ting, DPM Teo Chee Hean, Chia Ching Yee, Alyssa Ang, Venus Goh

潇洒走一回

2010-07-31T19:15:00.002+08:00

天地悠悠过客匆匆潮起又潮落
恩恩怨怨生死白头几人能看透
红尘啊滚滚痴痴啊情深
聚散终有时
留一半清醒留一半醉
至少梦里有你追随
我拿青春赌明天
你用真情换此生
岁月不知人间多少的忧伤
何不潇洒走一回
宁静致远祝您永远幸福安康

2010-07-30T22:27:00.000+08:00

had ih and la blocks yesterday. ih was seriously O.O like wth 3 questions in 50 minutes! feel damn cheated for history =.= and frankly speaking, the questions were relatively easy, maybe with the first one being slightly harder. lol did the paper at like some leisurely pace and ended up not having enough time to write the last level stuff cuz i was like doing it damn slowly thanks to the awesome amount of time given.

and i think i kind of screwed la. took damn long deciding which question to write and it seemed to me that I wrote it really badly. but hopefully doesn't turn out that bad.

2010-07-28T23:20:00.000+08:00

有人说我该放弃，要反悔比执迷还容易。

after talking to ching yee yesterday, i felt that i had to like say this. nothing important lah, just that it seems damn stupid. the whole four tier differentiated learning in chinese is really just crap =.= like sure differentiated in terms of no of movies you watch and maybe the amount you get to copy. content wise, only slightly. and all that hype about bsp, about the importance of grooming billingual individuals to blah blah blah just seems really stupid. i mean like, bsp in nanyang really doesnt cover much. one hour a week. im quite sure if you go around asking bsp students in nanyang what they learnt, they would probably take a while to respond. and most of us probably can only say the topic, nothing much content wise. like all those whatever 运动 that we learnt about. i practically dont know anything about it. bsp in nanyang is totally not an accurate reflection of china studies in hwa chong. not even one of a millionth.

oh look! I feel so prepared for that! =.=

the thing about GEP

2010-07-25T15:13:00.000+08:00

figured i'll put this here as well... since our time in nanyang is drawing to a close soon. and so is our time in GEP, as GEPers.

I think the whole problem about GEP in nanyang is that they kind of segregate us from the rest and label us GEP (although most secondary schools dont keep GEPers together) and yet we aren't doing anything different from the rest of the classes. Granted, there are instances that we might get priority in certain matters. But the point is that academic wise (which we're supposed to be good or better at) there's practically nothing done.

If we're supposed to be in a special program then at the very least there must be something different about us. Else, there's no point keeping us as one GEPer class anyway. its's juz like how the math and science class has a different math syllabus is sec 3 and how the hp classes have to take one more subject that the rest of us in sec 3. Not that i really wanted to be treated differently as a GEper, just that if they want to brand us in that way, they have to do something about it. And not just leave us with a name and let things be.

Of course like the rest of the GEPers, im quite sure we all enjoyed the supposed treatment we get and of course are proud to be called GEpers. But the flaw in this system is that they have put all of us into this mold since primary 4, since we were 10. Other GEPers not in nanyang have probably crawled out of that mold and gone on. But here in nanyang, this mold has just become more distinct and its like a hole that's got deeper and deeper. Having spent 7 years in a system whereby you have the privilege of a small class and being surrounded by practically the same people each year, we're going to find it very hard to adapt to life in JC where we all get thrown back into the 'normal way of school life'. Im sure we get along quite well with many people in the mainstream, but the thing is that we often dont interact with them on a academic basis. Granted that you study with them for eoys or anything, it doesnt change the fact that you have not been in the classroom environment with them for a whole 7 years, and that is something really different.

When the time comes in less than half a year for us to climb out of this deep hole, I believe most of us will struggle to get out of it. For it has already become our way of life, the circle that we are so used to and so comfortable with. But that is not the way society works and we'll be forced to get used to that fact. And here is the whole crux of the problem of GEP.

Whatever it is, I have to say that I really enjoyed all these and am really very glad to have been given a chance to experience all these. Ultimately, even though we might not have been given what we wished, we still have to thank the MOE for coming up with this, for giving us such an awesome chance to feel special, to experience these 7 years as a GEPer.

GEP FTW!

2010-07-25T15:10:00.000+08:00

It's been ages since i last posted and actually a whole lot of things happened. so i shall start from napfa?

it was quite interesting to have to do napfa during a retest. and i seriously suspect they are like a lot more lax cuz of that. ESPECIALLY in IPU. lol or maybe its just that ms sabrina wasn't the one assessing us, cuz she's damn strict bout that. anyway, the results.

IPU: 19
Sit ups: 40 something
Shuttle run: 11.2 or something (all thanks to some crazy netball girl who dashed out of nowhere!)
SBJ: 198! (really awesome cuz when i practiced my range was from 170 to 190 o.o)
Sit and reach: 58 (although i would have thought 60 was a much nicer number... xD)
2.4: too terrible to be disclosed

i suppose this year's napfa was quite good, with my sbj and sit and reach being the bst. shuttle run and 2.4 was just dreadful. cant believe how badly i did for 2.4. it's like about the same or worse than my result in sec 1, which was wow.

and then we had the flags performance for the flag presntation for YOG. amazingly, the audience included DPM teo chee hean and had ppl like teo ser luck as well. the entire performance was really fast. its like one moment we were waiting for the DPM to arrive and the next, we just zoomed on stage. although i suppose we were regarded as calefares, that doesnt really matter much. i hope. at the very leat we had to the chance to perform there and then regardless of how important it really was for the occasion.

then there was the block tests on thursday. i wrote the yao qing han and the zuo wen about zhong xue sheng li cai. i suppose it was okay? just that im not sure if i missed out any details about the yao qing han when i wrote it. and i originally intended to present my glog to cikgu during thursday recess, but thanks to the school only giving us 45 mins in between chinese papers and australian chem thing, and another 15 mins between that and la right after that, i ended up not having enough time... seriously, the school is damn stingy with recesses. like they didnt even bother to give us a slightly longer recess after block tests and instead decided to split up the one hour into 45 min and 15 min breaks. oh btw the australian chem thing was really easy. like there were questions which required absolutely no chemical knowledge and just common sense. lol and to quote herah after we took it: i wonder what they learn in school.

oh and there was the debate thing between 401 and 414 during assembly. btw, those were the only 2 sec 4 classes that participated and it ended up that all the sec 3 classes lost to them =.= anyway, i suppose the debate was quite close and i have to say that it got really confusing to the end. plus having en ting as a chair was really amusing.not gonna comment much about the debate, but i just had to say something about an example raised by i dunno who on soccer. someone said that the reason why we have to pay so much to watch epl now is cuz of the demand of the people in singapore or something. well, i would think the real reason is that singtel and starhub were bloody stupid in bidding for the world cup. in order to outbid each other, they ended up offering some astronomical sum to bid for the world cup. epl saw that and realised that these singapore companies have a damn lot of money and yet they're paying only this much for the rights to telecast the epl. obviously if you show off your riches, you attract thieves. that is exactly what happened to singtel and starhub. the epl would be stupid not to extort money from them. and that's why we end up having to pay so much lah. so all i can say about that is that it had absolutely nothing to do with the debate and should not have been used by anyone at all =.=

then on friday came the craziest thing. 3 presentations in a row. in three different languages. chinese sia presentation, then ih topical presentation, followed by glog presentation. and the thing about chinese sia was that zhi qi and i officially started on the sia we were presenting (we changed our title and the focus) last sunday. lol damn zai lah. we were rushng everything like crap, even till the last minute during pccg that i paid no attention to. luckily, we managed to pull it off and li wen juan seemed relatively pleased with us. hopefully, it wasn't that obvious that we were not the least bit prepared.

then came ih which was equally screwed cuz shi ting fell asleep before finishing her part on like thursday (friday morning actually). and audrey wasn't there. so we tried to go up to kuan and ask her if we could present on monday instead, but she said we would get zero if we didnt present on friday, so we just went up and ad libbed. despite us thinking that we were screwed, it turns out that we weren't according to kuan who said that we did quite well and were able to answer her questions. we couldnt really believe it, but well good for us i suppose.

and then it was the glog presentation during recess. surprisingly it was the presentation i was the most prepared for, even though it was in malay. i suppose its cuz i was already prepared to present it last monday and due to all sorts of things that happened it ended up being pushed back. but yeah it was good and so i survived friday.

malay blocks on monday. should be able to cope, i hope...

2010-07-10T00:27:00.000+08:00

the taiwan ppl left today! it was quite sad on thursday cuz they left so fast, although the waving to them incessantly plus the threatening to get on the bus and leave with them was damn funny. they only come for like a few days and they're gone so fast it feels so... its juz like when we go to china for so long and only go to the school for like less than a week. that seriously needs to be changed.

anyway, on to wushu! i finally learnt almost the entire jiu changquan tao on tuesday! and of course we did qi... the school should seriously stop treating us as though we are wushu exponents and think that we wont face ANY problems if you juz pop in and tell us that 'oh, we need you to perform in like 2, 3 weeks. AND its the tao that you're the MOST familiar tao you know! like QI!'. and after we ALMOST finalised the tao, we were greeted with the awesome news that we would be performing in the audi, and so rejoice! =.= gosh. i guess that juz explained everything.

but still, i hope we can get everything right in time. its kind of hard cuz of napfa stuck in between and other stuff, but well it's not the first time we've had to do things like this. im sure practice makes perfect.

2010-06-30T22:05:00.000+08:00

school has been better than i thought it would be simply because i expected to be screwed going into the school term with quite a bit of stuff undone. so far, the time to be screwed has been pushed back and uh serves as a great relief to someone who needs to dedicate her time to the tv screen, esp world cup. lol excuses, excuses.

training tmr! looking forward to learning as much of the jiu changquan tao as possible =D and btw, the way xue teaches is rather... interesting

时机不容错过，否则往事只能回味

2010-06-22T13:41:00.001+08:00

我们都知道时光是短暂的。四年的时间，就这样一眨眼的过去了。上个星期的接班让我感触良多，也让我非常依依不舍。假期第一个礼拜回到学校时，因为无所事事（马来语在一个钟头后才开始）我就独自到武馆去。我一个人躺在了地毯的中央，想着想着，往事全都浮现在我脑海里。

中一的时候，我不知何故选择加入南中武术队。当时，我们还没有武馆，每个人都在四楼的个个角落练习。还记得我们看到的第一个测试，是在那么小的空间进行的。学姐们一个个上场，而我们则因为无知，可能是打气太过头了吧，结果还被学姐骂。每次训练的时候，总是会有一些中四的学姐（偶尔还有一些中三的）监督我们练南中拳。他们当时的严格要求令我们气愤，每一个人的动作都要完美无暇才能继续。我们总觉得自己被折磨得很惨，每次训练后总是腿软软的走回家。还记得有一段时间我们受不了她的视若无睹，对于另外一些学姐感到畏惧，又觉得有学姐几位幽默。不过如今我真的很感激他们当时对我们的苛刻、严格。那年年尾武馆终于修建完毕，我们从礼堂搬了两个重的无可比拟的地毯上了三楼。那中间的辛苦和汗水，我绝对忘不了。

中二的时候，我们第一次去比赛。对于从来没有比赛经验的我们，比赛是多么令我们畏惧的啊。更何况是要比单项，四段剑。在比赛的过程中，我并不知道自己在干什么，竟然有昏昏欲睡的感觉。虽然成绩不是很理想，不过那次比赛的经验对我来说还是非常难能可贵。我们在一起练了集体刀，八个人的集体刀。虽然当时我们希望只有七人参赛。比赛前不久，教练把我们的动作改了又改，换了又换，让中二的我们非常担心。担心自己会忘记套路，会无法与音乐配合，无法与队友配合。结果比赛当天真的出事了，而且我们错得那么明显。也不知道为什么，评判竟判给了我们铜牌，让我们惊喜万分。不过现在的我们重新回顾当时比赛的片断时，都觉得自己的表现根本不配得到第三名，也对于当时的成绩难以理解。

中三的时候，我们认定自己在竞赛套路的表现好不到哪里去，若要参加单项和集体，定时什么名次也得不到。大家也就因此放弃了比单项的机会，全心全意投入集体拳。我们基本功的不足，彻彻底底的在我们的集体套路中显现。手中没有任何的器械让人更容易看破我们的不足之处。不过我们非常的努力，非常的投入，相信这样就足够了。当我们问教练我们集体拳的胜算有多高的时候，他们几乎很肯定地告诉我们，我们很有机会拿到名次。比赛名单出炉的时候，我们发现在B组的集体拳队伍只有五个，包括我们在内。当时我们信心大增，仿佛打了强心针一样。我们还笑说自己不肯能拿不到名次的。上完场，比完赛，我们站在一旁等待梦寐以求的得分。谁知道那分数一出，我们的心片刻跌入谷底。哑口无言的我们根本无法了解事情为何会演变成这样。我们并没有犯下什么明显的错误，而且我们认为自己的表现至少能获得第四名。结果，我们成了第五名。应该说是最后一名吧。我们连眼泪也流不出来，因为我们根本就不认为自己应该得到这样的分数，更不明白评判为何会这样评分。八月份的时候，中四的学姐接班给我们。我也在当时成为了南中武术队的队长。当然，我对此深感骄傲，不过也担心自己无能带领队员创高峰。

中四的时候，我们的辈分已经是最大的了，也没有学姐能够教我们，帮助我们。二月份的春节表演对我们来说意义非凡。它对我们的意义绝对比对其他武术队员的意义还要重大，是其他人所难以想象的。我们虽然是中四，不过从来没有在春节表演上表演过。这对于我们而言不仅是一种遗憾，更是一种耻辱。因此，我们决心为我们唯一一次南中春节表演的表演付出一切，让全校师生看到我们最好的一面，看到我们努力和奋斗的成果。为了确保我们的集体到在礼堂台上表演顺利，我们多次到礼堂去‘试场地’。由于礼堂台上的位不够，我们的套路无法按照原本的形式完成。结果我们为了那一次的表演改了套路的一部分。就因为那空间太小。我们虽然每次都练得身心疲惫，伤痕累累，不过当天南中师生在看武术表演时所给的反应让那一切的一切变得非常值得。那时我们一直都渴望得到的，认可。无论是评判的认可，南中全体师生的认可，教练的认可，学姐的认可，学妹的认可，都是我们一直想得到的。不过得到认可的权力似乎一直都被剥夺。直到那一刻。在礼堂掌声响起的那一刻。这一切才有了变数。

对于2009那令人既困惑又被分的成绩，我们还是难以忘记。这已经是我们最后一个机会，最后一个让自己扬眉吐气的机会，容不得我们错过。学了学姐们的集体刀套路之后，我们呕心沥血的改进它，重新编排，整顿队形（七个人的队型可是难以编排的），加入音乐。最终编排出的套路可说是真的属于我们，是我们呕心沥血的结晶，尤其是那结尾。我敢说我们今年所付出的努力比中二和中三的加起来还要多。几乎每当我们在学校的时候有空档，就会会合，一起讨论集体套路的事，一起练那难以达到的单手翻。中四的前四个月几乎都是在为四月十六号的比赛而准备的。比赛永远充满了未知数，而在四月十六号我们也因此感到非常害怕，兴奋，和担忧。距离比赛的时间一分一秒地过去，我的心跳也越变越快。坐在一旁看对手们一一的上场更是让我的心情难以平复。走上地毯式，我的心更是整个都跳了出来。在完成套路的当儿，我不知道为什么脚那么的不稳，那么的不扎实，好像随时都会跌倒似的。打完整套后，我并不是对自己的表现很满意，不过还是认为我们应该很有机会拿到名次。看到分数时，我并不知道我们到底是第几名。因为那分数看起来足以得到第三名，却看起来有可能是第五名。结果我们得到第四名，分数同另外一队一样。不过由于有两队得到第三名，我们根本就拿不到任何奖牌。当时，我们站在礼堂外，个个不知该说什么好。结果我们一个个开始落泪。那时我也觉得眼睛热辣辣的，眼泪也就这样夺眶而出。为什么？为什么我们那么的努力，不过在正式比赛的时候却无法发挥平时的水平？对于我们而言，那是莫大的遗憾。我也没什么时间整顿自己的心情，就在隔天搭早班飞机到北京去了。

如今已是2010年，六月份了。在南中的日子，在武术队的日子也不多了。所以我更要争取仅剩的时间，南中武术队一分子的时间。我能去多少次训练就去多少次，因为时光匆匆流去，再过不久我也就没这个机会了。与其后悔自己没有好好把握在南中的最后半年的时间，何不趁现在，趁遗憾还没形成之前，做自己该做的事？

2010-06-20T12:23:00.000+08:00

been following the world cup like xiao the past week and totally neglected my homework =.=

anyway, batch outing on friday was uh quite epic1 hahaha our selection of songs made it seem as though a group of uncles, a group of aunties, a group of kpop crazy teenage girls, a group of .... and ....

the point is, the range of songs we sang was so wide that it would be shocking to any normal person who saw it. but nonetheless, we had an awesome time there. especially since kbox gave us 40 mins free and we were all O.O about it.

and the world cup has been full of surprises so far. hahaha and it was awesome when serbia beat germany 1-0 xD since they didnt deserve to lose against ghana. although vidic didnt seem to learn from his teammate who got sent of as a result of a second yellow card for handballing against ghana, letting them win due to the penalty. but serbia's keeper was good enough and podolski was quite terrible in the game and his penalty got saved.

Beijing was like 5 days ago...

2010-05-27T10:23:00.001+08:00

Came back from beijing on open house day! ended up super tired on saturday. and finding the wushu people when going back was damn funny cuz i was wearing my 低调 shirt and cap! surprisingly they took damn long to realise that i was there considering that they were all in the canteen and i was walking towards them.

we had like mass splitting sessions in the canteen and thanks to the fact that i stretched in beijing, i could still split! =D and somehow i started re-learning si duan dao from sarah, plus like the starting of xin dao that i still dun get! not bad lah, was almost done with si duan dao xD and i finally did xin jian with a jian for the first time in i dunno how long, considering we didnt do dan xiang for ages. it did feel quite shuang.

went to hui ran's house after that for bbq where i obviously was at a great disadvantage. but thankfully i could eat like prawns and the corn and so didnt starve to death or something. oh and i was talking to sarah for an hour about some seemingly wuliao stuff and some stuff that didnt seem so wuliao and somehow concerned our 'future'. lol we were stuffing ourselves with food as we talked.

anyway! beijing was really awesome! it was really different from shanghai, but apart from the cultural lessons we had in Shanghai, the other stuff in beijing were so much better. we had like freedom, decent hostels, a hoard of shopping trips among other crazy things.

and my room was awesome as well! 低调！i think i'll post like dedis later. For the 低调 people and for batchmates （i've been wanting to do that after comps, cept that i had no chance)!

okay, not bad that i managed to type all this after i died doing history sia and was left with barely 2 hours of sleep...

HEAL ALREADY....

2010-04-14T18:12:00.000+08:00

OMG comps in 2 days!

i feel kind off screwed cuz i think i pulled my thigh muscle. all thanks to chai once again =.= he's like the culprit for making my ankle injured the first time, and subsequently some days ago. and now this... does he not understand that we NEED to do warm ups properly?

im damn scared that my leg will screw up. cuz it juz got worse today, especially after i trained today. like i currently need to limp cuz its less pain than walking. and my leg hurts regardless of what position im in, even if im sitting down =.= like WTH! i want to be able to do the tao properly on friday, be able to go down for gong bus, be able to jump and split, be able to do my moves fast enough!

we're gonna shi di tan tmr! hopefully we can settle everything in the stingy 1.5 minutes they gave us, when that chung cheng had like a year since the previous comps to shi chang di -.-''' damn unfair lah. plus that stupid fat bitch.

NYWS FTW!

2010-04-13T23:11:00.000+08:00

the 200th post. 3 days to jiti. 4 days to beijing.

this is seriously nerve wrecking. especially since its so close for the b div overall. chung cheng 56 pts, nanyang 42 points, dunman 41 points. i seriously hope we can secure 2nd place. the last time we got that was when we were in sec 1 the b div managed to get 2nd. jiti plays a crucial role in like our final positions.... ahhh. so hopefully we can 压得住 dunman and maintain 2nd. im not sure how many points the 4th placed team has right now. hopefully as low as possible...

everything is coming so quickly but it seems like we're not ready for comps yet...

splits, liu shui, walking in, shuai tou, ting dun, gong bu. all these are still not good enough. i would think that there's more, but these should be the main ones.

2010-04-10T00:02:00.000+08:00

EXACTLY A WEEK TO COMPS!

its VERY VERY tense. argh. one week is all thats left. its like our last year in nanyang and we really gave everything to lian, to come up with the moves, to change to tao, to do like everything to make the tao better. i really think we deserve to get something from this year's comps. especially after what happened last year when we got our marks and juz stoned there, wondering if there was something wrong with our eyes or the score. at that point in time, it felt like the world stopped turning or something.

i dont think we can stand another blow like that. or at least i wont be able to. the last year! there's no way we can say 'oh, there's still next year'. right now, everything seems very uncertain. and even though we seem fairly confident and probably improved a lot, nothing seems to be enough. its juz like last year when we put in so much effort and thought we were worth at least 3rd place and above. but in the end?

ARGH. i've been thinking so much these days its driving me nuts. and i juz find it very unfair. like how some ppl dont bother much about their events and yet they get better results than others?

and the sense of urgency doesnt seem to be present in certain ppl even though their comps are drawing so near. i mean, look at the amount of effort we put in as compared to some of them. Even in sec 2 and sec 3 i think we put in more effort than what some of you are doing now. im not even sure if you guys know who you are, but there's nothing much i can do about it now.

lol i think this post sounds damn depressing, but i needed to rant all this. especially after talking to sarah during 'afternoon training' today. we talked a lot about various people and things. hmmm rather interesting things eh?

2010-04-01T22:17:00.000+08:00

i realised that our batch goes mad when we're together. even on tuesday when there was only 3 of us. haha the 3 lame thing that i said bout the shoe, the m thing and about being lame xD this shows how much nonsense we talk about when we're together.

anyway, training today was rather productive. i can now consistently do a dan shou ce shou fan with a dao! =D and we kind of settled the music part liao, like coordinating with our tao. but thanks to that chai who made us run 10 mins when we havent even warmed up my ankle suddenly died. its not really very pain or anything, but its a little swollen o.o

anyway, sec 4s jiayou for jiti! we must train like xiao and get something we deserve this time!

NYWS FTW!

2010-03-26T00:52:00.001+08:00

Term 2 week 1 has been IMMENSELY HECTIC AND CRAZY. and it will continue to be. but at least im relieved for now. nothing much to say except that i feel really overwhelmed. history interview, translating, transcribing, lun wen, vvip thing, comps, and all sorts of other stuff that need to be done.

and we have awesome teachers in charge who know nothing but talk shit and push all the blame and responsibility and work to the students and dont bother to do anything. what more is there to say?

2010-03-21T18:37:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARAH!

MWAHAHAHA IM NOT GONNA WRITE A DEDI HERE xD LOL BUT YOU SHOULD GET ONE TOMORROW! ANYWAY, HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME TODAY AND SEE YOU TOMORROW MORNING AT PT!

2010-03-15T20:52:00.000+08:00

GRACES! haha it was quite good. but the talks were seriously useless and time consuming =.= and i cannot stand the stupid main speaker. lol but apart from that all the stupid things we did in the rooms and like the meals plus mass camwhoring by like the whole world and of course the dinners were awesome. shall not comment any further for today xD

anyway, i just wanted to remind my batchmates of the upcoming comps!

I SUSPECT WE HAVENT REALISED THAT COMPS ARE OFFICIALLY A MONTH AND A DAY AWAY! LOL SO START WORRYING ABOUT OUR TAO AND ALL THAT. ESPECIALLY SINCE WE NEED TO CHANGE MOVEMENTS CUZ OF STUPID NEW REGULATIONS. LOL YES SO JUZ TO REMIND ALL OF YOU GUYS TO START WORRYING BOUT JITI xD

2010-03-01T00:24:00.000+08:00

Had a rather interesting birthday today. Mainly because i went out with wen hui and sharmaine! hahaha you two should be honoured x) Met them in west mall at the entrance of coffee bean and was *aherm* made to wait while they got my card (which they claimed they got 5 days ago). and the card was... different and very interesting. hahaha but yah lah quite creative.

we shared a large cup of ice blended mocha, like what we did last time at jurong point! oh and wen hui managed to get the staff there to give her like a free cherry on top of our drink XP hahah and we took like endless helpings of the vanilla and choco powder plus free skimmed milk xD omg cheapskate... and 3 of us ended up using 10 cups! oh yeah we were eating tapioca chips as well cuz wen hui brought some. lol as usual we talked and talked about random stuff. its amazing how we never run out of stuff to talk about since we dont meet very often, but im quite glad its that way =D oh and we decided to conquer all the coffee beans there are in singapore, so we'll meet at some other place with coffee bean the next time wh comes back to singapore. wen hui u better not lose that receipt! go frame it up or something xD

went to like kfc where sharmaine wanted to buy the egg tarts, but me and wh were convince that it was too ex, so we ended up not buying it. lol but what happened at kfc was like damn funny. sharmaine and wh were trying to ask the kfc staff how big the eggtart was. then the person was like err... i dunno how to say. wh was the best lah 'what's the diamater of the eggtart =.=' and the person juz stoned at her. haha in the end we juz got the person to show us the eggtart. was damn amusing, but i pity the kfc staff cuz we didnt get anything in the end xD

finally we settled down at burger king and talked for a loooooooonnnnnnnnngggggggggggg time =D about various stuff like life in france where you're either with the popular kids or you're a loser. and bout how rich ppl can afford to hire a limo for someone else on their birthday O.O WOW. haha then we started talking bout where wh is gonna hold her birthday party in singapore. lol all those hotels and the $700 suites! haha i cant believe i've known them for like 6 years. but i had a lot of fun juz hanging out with them for like 2 and a half hours today =P

Anyway, thanks to all the rest who wished me a happy birthday! haha and thanks to sarah for the long dedi.

2010-02-24T23:11:00.000+08:00

nothing much to say. just that the drums practice today was good! we learnt the whole song that we're performing. actually, it does sound quite cool when everything is put together. lol but i feel screwed about my part, cuz today's the first time we're trying everything together, but i can only make it for the last practice which is like the full dress rehearsal. plus their gonna learn the movements tmr but there's training.

不知道为什么，最近总觉得怪怪的。每天总觉得很累，什么都不想做，什么也不想管，什么也不要想。透不过气的日子真的受够了。如果能抛开一切，让自己的日子好过该有多好。

NYWS FTW!

2010-02-14T14:51:00.000+08:00

wushu performance for CNY was awesome!

the response during the performance was juz amazing. i never knew wushu was so well received by nanyang. when the emcee was announcing that wushu was going to be the next performance the applause given was way louder than what anyone of us was expecting. and wow when i entered the stage the atmosphere was juz amazing! =D

for the first time in my four years in nanyang I felt that the school was like 100% supportive of wushu and that the whole school acknowledged our efforts. lol right now im still feeling damn proud of nyws and our whole batch!

we really put in a lot of effort for jiti as well as the qi. and it meant so much to us since it was our first and last time performing in front of the whole school during chinese new year celebrations. all that i remember of the past 2 or 3 weeks of school apart from lessons is juz wushu, wushu and wushu. we lianed jiti like mad and had to face certain people in the process of attempting to lian. but on friday we really felt that everything we put in was worth it, and the feeling was amazing. i suspect i felt more nervous than i was for comps.

i think our whole batch is feeling damn ego right now xD but we never exactly had the chance to feel like this before. and i can still feel the adrenaline we had during the whole performance. all i can say is that the cny performance was awesome and we performed one of the best taos we ever did xD

jiayou for jiti everyone! and we'll own comps like we did on friday! =P

挺有意思的

2010-02-08T22:59:00.000+08:00

微笑露一点

说话轻一点

脾气小一点

肚量大一点

理由少一点

做事多一点

效率高一点

行动快一点

脑筋活一点

嘴巴甜一点

这些你办得到吗？

some people are incorrigible

2010-02-08T22:42:00.000+08:00

i really wonder how unreasonable things can get. it seems that some people really have no sense of shame they dont even realise they're lying.

Koped from sarah (cuz it really shows how ridiculous some people can be)

Something for you to figure out:

1. 10 people (guess who) walk into the rooftop hall and see 3 Sec 4 Wushu girls sitting in
the middle of the carpet, looking like they need to redefine 'slackers'. The 10 people have a booking for the rooftop hall, and urgently need to use it, for reasons that are divulged on a need-to-know basis. And hey, we don't N to K. So what do the 10 people do?

a) Tell the Wushu people to get out, please.

b) Tackle them 3 to 1, and drag them bodily out of the rooftop hall.

c) Leave sobbing quietly because the Wushu girls are bad and scary.

d) Stand there and stare at the Wushu girls for 10 minutes, then leave and go complain to their teacher IC that the Wushu girls suck because they have no eye-power-telepathy-thingy skills at all. Ergo, they didn't know they were supposed to leave, and just sat there looking like they needed to redefine "slackers".

I'd have guessed a or b. I might chance c, but only if cloning Venus got legalized.

Therefore, my score = 0/1, because the answer is d.

its amazing how they could rush in to the wuguan and stare at us for like 10 minutes without uttering a single word. and its not as if we were doing jiti. the three of us were juz sitting there discussing about jiti, not that we took our daos and put it at their necks, threatening to kill them if they didnt get out of the wuguan =.=

then these smart people decide that we somehow have the power to let them know that we want them to get out of the wuguan without us telling them anything. and they run crying to their oh so wonderful teacher in charge that we CHASED THEM OUT OF THE WUGUAN.

oh wow, like wushu people are evil and unreasonable maniacs that will eat you up if you refuse to abide by their wishes. sure. i would have slaughtered these unreasonable people like a million years ago if we were really like that. nothing much to say about these people, cuz im juz lowering myself attempting to talk about them. just amazing how these people can exist eh?

i wouldnt be able to appear so proud of my shameless acts.

hope the rehearsal tomorrow wont be a waste of time like monday.

天理何在?

2010-02-06T00:11:00.003+08:00

Today sucked like shit. Good thing the ppl who had stuff on didnt cancel it to go for the practically non existent rehearsal. We went there and 2.30 and waited in the hall like idiots cuz the teachers had no idea what they were doing, and instead of focusing on the performances they decided to focus on the emcees instead. Like hello, the emcees can rehearse anywhere in the school and they have to spend 'rehearsal time' telling getting the emcees to practice?

CO barely played much before they got cut off and asked to stop the rehearsal. but i suspect they were on stage for like an hour, and all because of the emcees. wow. then they get wushu to go next and start scolding us just because we didnt enter the stage when the music started. how on earth do you expect us to enter the stage if there's this endless stream of ppl coming out with instruments? obviously you let them come out before you go in lah =.= and we were scolded for not being prepared cuz of that, despite my attempts to explain it to an LA teacher. common sense?

then they smartly asked the ppl to play the music, let the sec 3s go out and do jitiquan, and told them to restart when they were almost done. wth? and the playing of music was damn screwed. plus some people really dont seem to understand who is in charge of doing what. she kept telling us that the music would play after the curtains were drawn and went on and on cuz some ppl didnt catch it. but seriously, its' go nothing to do with us, cuz our cue is the music, and we obviously wont go out with the curtains drawn.

just when everyone thought we were going to get a proper rehearsal, someone told us to juz do our ending move when emily barely started her tao, meaning that only jitiquan got to do something substantial. and wow thats the end of the damn rehearsal. the reason for only doing the start and end? ITS A TECHNICAL REHEARSAL!

YAH RIGHT. everything changes the moment chinese dance appears. juz because its chen lili doesnt mean she can have her way in everything. while wushu practically couldnt do anything, chinese dance could do the whole damn thing twice during a TECHNICAL REHEARSAL, with chen lili at the side correcting their mistakes, meaning that they were rectifying their moves during a TECHNICAL REHEARSAL. seriously, what the hell.

and so we decided to go up to the wu guan and lian instead. but no, modern dance was using the wu guan. and they refused to budge at all despite the fact that we having a damn performance next week and that they were only using half of the space in the wu guan.

the best part was the one on the rolling up of the di tan. Apparently, we have to roll up the carpet on thursday after wushu, so as to let modern dance have a conducive environment for their oh so wonderful dance practice. and modern dance will not roll the carpet back because they are being kind and doing us a favour! they claim that not rolling up the carpet will make it easier for the cleaners to clean up the carpet, and so by not rolling back the carpet they are ensuring that our wuguan is kept nice and clean! wow, such kind souls. i dont see how cleaning the floor helps keep the carpet clean because the way the cleaners clean the carpet is by vacuuming the TOP of the carpet. not the bottom you idiot.

is it not basic courtesy to put things back in order if you're using someone else's place? and not come up with such ridiculous and senseless excuses to make it seem like whatever it is that you're doing is such a selfless act. to think that came from a teacher. its not just warped reasoning. its total bullshit. how can you say something like that and give such a shameless explanation?

what is wushu? its considered nothing i suppose, from the treatment we got today. everyone wasted 2 hours to do nothing in the hall. everyone was going crazy about the rehearsal cuz we juz got notified yesterday and we actually tried to come. for that worthless thing. after doing nothing on stage, we had to watch chinese dance do their TECHNICAL REHEARSAL by rehearsing their WHOLE performance twice. then we go up to our rightful training area that is also known as the rooftop hall/MULTI PURPOSE hall (when it shouldn't be so) and get chased out, at the same time having to listen to shameless people cover up their actions.

the rehearsal on monday better be a proper one, or else i'll really chop some people up into a million bits cuz we're not going to all that trouble of wearing byf and warming up if we arent even given a chance to rehearse properly.

2010-01-18T23:06:00.002+08:00

After reading Jean's post, i decided that i should make a list of things i want to do/get in 2010.

1) A GOLD IN JITI! - Really desperate for it! i really want to end the comps as sec 4s on a high and get something that we can all be really proud of for a really long time to come. i know we all want it really badly.

2) Put in more effort during training - Somehow i always entertain thoughts of slacking during training, but this is the last year and a last chance at at least a medal or maybe even a gold, following last years' disappointment. Trying harder during training something that obviously helps but always it always seem rather difficult to put in my best.

3) Stop slacking and wake up - Frankly speaking, i think that for the past 3 years that i've been in nanyang, i've been wasting my time away by slacking and just not bothering to do much. Obviously i didn't get satisfactory grades, let alone desirable ones. I want to actually put in a substantial amount of effort and not let the rotting of results continue.

4) Minimum 70% overall for each subject - Expecting too much of myself? I don't know. Compared to most people, my results/expectations are considered too low. But who cares?

5) Play basketball again! - Been AGES since i played basketball! When i was in China and i was attempting to shoot with the bball during the free time we had, i realised how long it has been since i touched a bball. Now there really isn't anyone in nanyang left to play with. I mean, how can we ever play a match? Like jean said, must get eggy, tiny, jia yu and wei ning all out again to play bball.

To be continued...

2010-01-15T16:10:00.002+08:00

Finally decided to post. Wanted to post after shanghai trip, but i was really too lazy. And when school started, there was so much work given and stuff going on that i didnt have time to post. lol but i dont really have anything much in mind to talk about now. maybe bout jiti.

i know this should have been said a really long time ago, but our jiti ending is damn cool! adding on to the fact that we came up with it without the help of the jiaolians make it even better. i really really want to get something at comps this year! cant imagine facing what we had to face last year... and its like our last year in nanyang already. but frankly speaking, our standard right now is really quite far from what we should be if we want to get a medal. means that we have to put in more effort and time if we are to be close to what we want to get. hope it turns out right this time.

2009-09-26T23:05:00.002+08:00

So class chalet is gonna be after eoys. whatever. didnt manage to go either last year, so i suppose it doesnt really matter that i wont be going this year either?

been slacking pretty much the whole day. shall go do work now. lol i realised that recently my posts are getting shorter and shorter. suppose that there isnt really much to say about what's happening now. or rather there isnt even anything going on so whats there to write about?

oh yeah wanted to say that songs sang in melayu and chinese are unexpectedly nice.

2009-09-24T21:23:00.002+08:00

oral yesterday was quite good! haha luckily she asked about sukan kegemaran, not sukan lasak. got the studio televisyen test back =D haha better than i expected. actually got full marks for the cloze o.o kind of guessed a few.

uh got nothing much to say bout today. the URA visit was quite a waste of time. lol me and amanda were busy reading out what was on the stickers stuck in the history room after history for like 15 mins. somehow it was very amusing even though it was stuff like khmer rogue and mao. i suppose we were amusing ourselves.

eoys next week! i'll make something out of it this time.

2009-09-16T19:52:00.001+08:00

wow this place is dead. and argh blogger juz deleted everything i typed. lol was talking bout batch outing and the crazy stuff we did. haha and the quiz was damn ridiculous.

had malay test yesterday. di studio televisyen. haha didnt expect her to let us write a bicarawara. should have juz looked at the script for the interview she made us film before the test.. lol but at least i memorised it quite well so still could rmb some stuff. oral next week! tentang sukan kegemaran! lol i think we did this last year at moelc. but sukan is the easiest topic to do, so good for us.

training today was damn slack lah. went up late cuz the shanghai briefing lasted practically 2 hours and had to go find yang to decide on lun wen topic. apparantly the started playing a while after training started and we ended at about 5 something o.o lol the game was irritating at times. cuz as usual the lower sec had like double the number of ppl =.= and yet there were 10 ppl crowding around the pathetic goal =.= haha but anyway there were ppl passing very *aherm* comments xDDD

oh yeah and i wanted to say that eat 4 a cause was a success! thanks a lot to those who came =D yfc is just about ending and it does feel kind of weird not having to do anymore yfc stuff.

wen hui you better come back soon!

2009-08-12T23:23:00.000+08:00

SATURDAY!

went out with sharmaine and wen hui! =D haha went to jurong point, but me and wen hui were late so sharmaine was waiting for us at macs xD eh but it was damn qiao cuz i met wen hui on the train, like she was in the same carraige x) then we went to find sharmaine but someone thought she was at macs when she was at kfc =.= and she never noticed the difference!

walked to the cinema wondering if we should watch a show but the queues were crazy lah! i think it was worse than the usual queue in the canteen when it's crowded. so of course didnt watch in the end and we juz walked around jurong point and ended up at macs again. then we started talking bout all sorts of stuff. haha wen hui's card that gave her access to a pub or something and sheesh the spelling errors were so obvious!

decided to eat at subway and we talked a lot more... about weird people who wear newspaper pants, are seemingly anorexic and lol rubbish in general. talked a lot about stuff in school and i realised nus high has only 100 plus ppl per level o.o sharmaine got a shock when she knew ny has like 400 something. and apparently wen hui has a fan club of 10 ppl O.O damn weird!

walked around after that and sharmaine bought ear studs i think. lol yes i didnt pierce my ears. too bad! xD and that wen hui didnt buy anything after taking so long to decide what to buy -.-''' went to the wallet shop. haha sharmaine got this new wallet cuz her old one is... quite rotten. and again wen hui was looking at the wallets for a loooooooong time and didnt buy in the end! =.= haha went to starbucks and cuz the three of us were so broke, we were quite pathetic and shared a cup of iced mocha or something. i never knew they had vanilla powder there... lol i think we got like 2 cups in all and juz mixed it into our drinks. took a lot of pictures, of how disgusting looking the drink was when we were pouring it and we talked and talked AGAIN. oh yeah we cleared sharm's wallet of all her receipts and stuff and we found out she keeps library receipts to keep track of the books she has read! xDD

somehow went into this fashion after that. and that was a terrible move! SHEESH. i shouldnt have agreed to go in!! they made me do something i think i probably wont do in a long time, not even for graces i suppose. arghh. if wen hui wasnt going to france the next day, i would never have agreed... i bet the two of them were gloating! and argh pictures! lol i think its quite obvious what they made me do, but the ny ppl probably wont ever see it anyway, so nvm! x)

heh that was about all we did that day. but somehow we talked on and on about anything and everything.. i think the bulk of the time that day was spent on talking XP was damn fun! cept for the this fashion part x) cant believe the next time we probably will go out like that is in i dunno how long.... heh never felt that shuang in a long time.

SUNDAY

totally didnt feel like national day cuz wen hui was gonna go to france later that night. my dad sent me to the airport at night and fetched sharm along the way =) lol talked to sharmaine all the way to the airport. reached at bout 9 and wen hui was stuck in a jam, so we went to eat at ya kun! haha sharm doest eat the egg yolk, but she was forced to eat part of it anyway, cuz she shared the egg with me x) went up to find wen hui after that and lol she was in the other set of clothing that she had! xDD

i passed her the letter then sharm realised that she didnt write anything even though she wanted to. haha so borrowed post it from wen hui and she started writing. wen hui's dad got us to go to swensen's to get a drink and lol their service is pathetically slow. didnt even serve ice water even though we asked for it and i think they took bout 10 mins to serve root beer =.=

finally we had to send wen hui off. it felt very nostalgic and there was this very sinking feeling. 6 years after all, out of 15 years of my life. didnt cry but felt like something was missing i suppose. then when she finally left i had a very weird feeling that i cant really describe. kind of uneasy i guess and partially disbelief. have fun in france wen hui! and dun you dare forget about coming back!

2009-08-10T16:31:00.001+08:00

block tests are overrrrrrrr.... whats done is done so yeah hope for the best i guess. a lot of stuff have happened these days after blocks ended. okay shall attempt to blog bout everyday since like thursday.

THURSDAY

after blocks had to discuss ydf funfair stuff. and there's founders day celebration on fri plus the long delayed ydf. apparantly we're supposed to do nanzhong quan.. better not get the wushu ppl to do it. anyway after that went out for batch lunch, cept the grace wasnt there. and lol guess who we saw on the overhead bridge! hahaha the seniors decided to go kap as well, cept they were behaving unlike what seniors should behave like so we pretended we didnt know them.

talked bout a lot of stuff at kap, and after that the focus juz became on fairy tales and how the orignial version was mutated from some sadistic scandalous horror story into some idealistic bedtime story for kids. hahaha it was quite amusing with all the scandals and weird storylines plus the violent happenings in the original story.

had training after that and taught yiting the jiti tao. or at least up to the liu shui part and xue was being quite erm extra trying to correct her moves because the main point was to juz rmb how to do it. anyway, we went up and the rest finished learning the whole jiti tao so janice had to teach us. somehow halfway li ting took over and yeah we continued learning the tao. almost finished learning then my eyes started hurting like crap cuz of the light and yeah so stopped. but im only left with a bit more i suppose.

FRIDAY

national days celebrations were a lot shorter than usual. the main thing we did was the mascot thing. and i have to say that the winners were rather pathetic. like i think they were the worst out of the lot lah =.= bet the judges were blind. btw, chooi was one of the judges.

met sarah and celine after that and were thinking of how to spend the 2, 3 hours we had while waiting for the hc guys to be done. started talking bout elections! and about how much pressure the captain would have if it wasnt emily. then we realised how wushu has the worst electing system ever =.= probably cuz no one ever bothered much. went to find carissa and we all decided to stone at the new starbucks. ahaha then me and sarah stared talking bout elections again... the sec 3s came but didnt even stay for apcg outing -.-''' so we went to poolside cafe to wait for the sec 4s to come back from their visit of patriotic places. haha and so we juz passed time by talking bout random stuff and how time passses so quickly.

finally they came and we went to west mall. had subway then went to bowl. haha the games were rather amusing. lol the first 2 games i bowled were okayish but i like the third game! and haha someone was having evil thoughts... lol not that the context provided wouldnt leave some people thinking like that xD after that we had this crrazy camwhoring session with various cameras and it was damn amusing. i think we spent super long taking pictures lah! the we decided to walk down the stairs and somehow found a place to take pictures again x) i think it was quite successful in the sense that we had a lot of amusement, even though the number of people who went was =.= juz like always

2009-08-03T18:29:00.000+08:00

ih la and bio overrrr! lol ih was okayish, but i really cant tell how well or how badly i did. lets hope i get the mark i did for my assignments. la was okay i suppose considering how long unseen prose has been left untouched esp with kong as the teacher =.= and sheesh bio.... lol im very unsure of my answers and im not gonna talk anymore about it. just wanted to say once again that its very irritating to keep saying how low marks you're gonna get and how you screwed up the damn paper when you probably will get back yr papers with at least 80% or something and still be unhappy about it. at least in 313 you hear a lot less of this kind of crap.

wen hui is going to france on national day!!! and she's gonna be gone for like 2 years O.O so damn long! lol and i realise i've known you for about 6 years! =D a lot of stuff happened previously and wow you're like suddenly going to france... haha have fun there! definitely will go and see you off on sunday =P

2009-08-01T17:58:00.003+08:00

sometimes i wonder whether its worth it. like im putting in so much but somehow its not appreciated. maybe its just cuz im so stupid to be doing so much for something that doesnt really have much importance to some of you. its very frustrating.

anyway, training these few days have been quite shuang, and amazingly i felt better after having training. lol learning taos are the best! oh did i mention that chai wanted us to finish learning jiti on thursday and xue said previously that we should finish learning by september. o.O whoa... haha chai was juz being lame as usual.

i dunno what im doing... was doing math the whole day =.= when its ih and bio i should be studying for. whoa damn smart.

pe on friday was damn amusing! hahaha both matches were damn funny and shi ting's expression when she was trying to prevent me from intercepting was amusing. it looked cramped up or something xD and i suppose im getting used to 313 and maybe starting to appreciate some people for who they are.

(blogger is screwed! i want to change the font damn it)

冷风过境回忆冻结成冰
我的付出全都要不到回音
悔恨就像是绵延不断的丘陵
痛苦全方位的降临
悲伤入侵誓言下落不明
我找不到那些爱过的曾经

2009-07-30T23:53:00.001+08:00

Limelight yesterday! Oh and HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TZE HUI! HAHAHA hope you like the tic tac. Lol maybe you;ll get sick of it because its such a big pack. And I realize I always jaywalk across the 8 roads when im at esplanade, cuz like there’s no human traffic light. Haha and I influence various ppl to do it with me xD

Training today was a lot better than expected. Played captains ball then went straight to tao and Emily was teaching us today! Ahaha li ting and carol were ‘helping’ her but I think they kinda got a bit mixed up with their tao. I think the tao is damn cool! Plus like the emo walk in! we learnt the liu shui part today and omg the jumping up into a gong bu and doing qian gun with a dao after you land is quite luan x) I think we need to lian quite a bit on that. But anyway, I think this is like the nicest jiti tao we’ve had and we’re gonna own next year! No more cchms. Or some freaking random orchid park =.=

These few days have been quite hectic and yeah tiring. Block test next week. The prospect is scary. Its probably as important as eoys would be, but im not feeling the urge to study or something which sucks. Cuz I think a lot depends on the block test and like wow I’ll juz go like I usually do – unprepared. Its not a good thing to be partially numb from all the disappointment I suppose.

Oh yeah elections are like next next week after block test. And this time there’s gonna be a sec 4 and sec 3 vice pres which means like this year’s sec 3 and 2. nothing against the sec 2s, but I feel it isn’t fair to the sec 3s or the sec 2s with this next system thing. I mean, the sec 3s should deserve 2 vice pres places. And the sec 2s shouldn’t be taking on vice pres in juz what, 2 weeks? There’s a lot of pressure and expectations on the person who becomes vice pres when she’s only sec 2. ever wondered what if that person didn’t get elected as pres or vice pres when she’s in sec 3? It sucks like shit. Like, what kind of arrangement is this. And now with only 1 sec 3 as vice pres I really have no idea who I’ll vote for. And the president. I dun want to vote for the president, and I dun think anyone in my batch would want either, because we have absolutely no idea who we should vote for. Everyone is rather equal unlike previous years, where it was obviously one person or maybe 2 at most. But now its seriously… I dun actually think any of us wanna be the president cuz it comes with all that responsibility and that expectation of being pro, like how you’ll keep being compared to the rest and stuff. Plus the president has to deal with wu, chai and xue. That would suck a lot esp if you’re supposed to talk to them about something but they juz scolded you unreasonably when you were doing your tao. I want to void my vote! Lol I bet on that day, the sec 3s will be the last to pass the paper to the sec 4s. and chances are we’ll juz end up writing a random name.

2009-07-17T23:30:00.002+08:00

i feel like an idiot. seriously whats the point in all this? wouldnt it make things a lot better if you stopped pretending? be decisive. you either show me that this is worth me trying or you can juz totally ignore me. stop appearing so nonchalent at times and yet so concerned or something. im sick and tired of all this. yeah so choose and decide what you want to do about this, cuz i dun intend to bother anymore.

2009-07-13T00:27:00.005+08:00

its irritating how things can change so quickly, and more often than not, its because we dun really try. like 5j, 213, apcg, everything in fact is slowly drifting away. there's always only that same few people perhaps making that effort to keep the friendship and all, but in the end its always the same. Somehow everything juz changes so quickly. and it all becomes so awakward just as quickly. soon people will feel out of place with each other, not knowing what to talk to each other about, and somehow its seems as though nothing is enough. when you look back at all the stuff that happened and we did together you'll think, of course we'll keep in touch. after all these stuff that we have done, there's a certain bond forged.

this all doesnt make sense, does it? i suppose the same thing will happen to qin bing, seniors, batchmates, and everyone else. because we're all just moving on, and we never look back to see what we have left behind. then as time passes, it all becomes to late because we cant care anymore. i suppose thats how adults have so few friends in comparison to us. because thats what happens and we all just cant be bothered. actually we might mind all this thats happening and want to change it, but a lot of people probably wont take action.

this sucks and its absolutely irritating to be going through this process again and again. you meet and you develop a friendship that somehow seems it'll last for a certain amount of time, but it turns out that its barely worth anything. not enough for others to make an effort to try and keep the bond that we shared. its the same for 5j, 213, apcg, etc. and when we leave nanyang, everything changes again.

yeah we probably feel the same way, but it takes a consistent effort to maintain a relationship. it will only fade if no one bothers bout it, and soon enough it wont matter enough to mend it. its crazy how things are going now because i think i have this really superficial relationship, friendship with a lot of people around me.

when we try to organise outings, of course people always can come at the start. but somehow they will always have something on and cancel on us one by one. like the apcg outings and the best lah class chalet. its not as though the date wasnt set a long time ago. and even though we didnt end up having chalet, thats no excuse. attendence is always pathetic. and its by no coincidence that everytime we have outings for various stuff its always the same people. others juz cant be bothered, eh?

anyway, APCG anniversary tmr! wow. cant believe it. but things are very different now. still... i had a great time at apcg and we shall attempt to organise a successful outing.

2009-07-08T18:59:00.001+08:00

lol this place is so dead. i didnt blog about a lot of stuff, esp qin bing outing! ahaha it was so damn fun =D

i dun really know what to say, but like school these days have juz been... its really becoming some routine whereby almost the same thing happens everyday or something and its getting quite sickening the way things are right now. life is seriously boring.

got lots of stuff that im supposed to do, but i never get down to it. anyway i miss watching 突围行动, now there's like no decent show to watch.

为着力追心中那意思
活着为志愿尽力尝试
能从心温暖他人
一息光不灭

活别若有幸定能重遇
日后让故事从头来说
情容一生去周旋
一天终如愿

看着旁人曾作崇
为求事实力探那管你是谁
无踪迹跟随
进退有几许

这世界国度
那会有句号

决意去勇闯不理多远也好
你那结果只靠一个你铺路
谁和谁来得早
也看过那长路

你为何付出心里知
我觅寻梦里的路线
奋力来活出真意思

为着力追心中那意思
活着为志愿尽力尝试
能从心温暖他人
一息光不灭

活别若有幸定能重遇
日后让故事从头来说
情容一生去周旋
一天终如愿

看着旁人曾作崇
为求事实力探那管你是谁
无踪迹跟随
进退有几许

这世界国度
各有各尺度

你偶尔错走失去方向跌倒
志气眼光使你走更阔的路

谁和谁来得早
也看过那长路

你为何付出心里知
我觅寻梦里的路线
奋力来活出真意思

2009-06-25T00:39:00.004+08:00

so much stuff has happened recently but i havent had the time or mood to blog about it. surprisingly even though i've already gone for 8 street sales (WHICH IS LIKE ALL?!) so far, i havent talked about it in detail at all. and i dont think i intend to because there are only 2 words that can describe the 2 main feelings i have when doing street sales. frustrated and encouraged.

frustrated because a lot of ppl dao you as though you're invisible and there are idiots along the street that you wanna bash up. and also because i went for more than double anyone else in my yfc group went for street sales, so it was damn sickening. encouraging because there are some ppl who donated generously and you could tell they werent that well off. also, almost all of our volunteers cept for ... (even though we didnt have a lot) were really putting in a lot of effort to help us sell stuff. oh thanks wen hui, tk and charmaine! =D haha wen hui even though when you came we didnt do street sales, but you made me feel a lot better and it was nice to see you after so long! tk, even though you didnt sell a lot, but you did try a lot lah. haha and a lot of amusement xD and charmaine thanks for coming to help out and getting so many ppl to come along as well! =P

class outing! shall juz talk briefly bout it cuz i should be sleeping right now. on the 16th went to audrey's house after street sales and we attempted to do ih sia for the night. lol but was quite fail lah. the next day was class outing! or supposed to be...

shall list the ppl that came:
sarah
audrey
carissa
lauren
charlotte
celine
and me =.=

i dun understand why we only had seven people coming when like sarah said, 16th of june was reserved a long time ago. we booked 3 months in advance? and its not that you told us you couldnt come one month in advance or something. so many people cancelled on the last minute. if we really had been able to stay in the chalet, i suppose we would have to pay more, cuz the ppl who cancelled last minute probably wouldnt wanna pay for something they didnt go. class outing? we didnt even have half the class there =.= and considering our class size thats pathetic.

okay anyway, the next day carissa had to go to ccab for some briefing thing. so me, sarah and audrey were in audrey's mum's room eating, watching tv and playing cards. haha but it was relatively amusing. and there was attempted brainwashing of csi miami xD the night before as well actually. finally lauren reached and carissa came back, so we set off for west mall quite late. we left at 1 plus? but cuz audrey told charlotte to meet at 12, we were worried that she was there waiting for us like an hour ago or something.

crap. its like 2 liao. i'll probably continue later.

秦兵!

2009-06-21T16:03:00.008+08:00

okay i know this is really really late, but whatever im still gonna post bout bsp camp! =D

2nd June - Tuesday

got into our groups. there were like 18 groups and i was in grp 18. bohan, this guess from hci was our leader. actually boss lah.. kay i'll list out the ppl in my group

5 nanyang: carmen, chen xi, hiu tung, nerice and me

4 dunman: hao nan, jia xin, leshan, song che

3 hwa chong: ming xun, zai wei, zheng ting

2 river valley: boon kee, xu zechang

1 boss: bohan

we sat in rows and got the transponders to our rooms in the sports sch. omg its exactly like the apcg one and we also have to pay 50 bucks if we lose it. we got sent up to put our stuff and it was quite luan. then we had cha dian, which was the beginning of us eating a lot at the sports sch. the yan jiang after that was quite boring, with the main point being that the speaker was an ang moh who could speak chinese. haha quite cool lah. then we had lunch =.= see i told you we eat until fat liao lah.

after that was po bing you xi which was quite lame and bohan was saying that almost all of the games were super lame. haha we played whacko i think when hao nan lost, so he had to do a forfeit. and i think we were the first group to go up on stage and do a forfeit. he was supposed to tiao gang guan wu, with bohan being the pole. omg it was damn gay lah, but super amusing.. and all the groups were watching. LOL but after that a lot of groups went up and did pole dance as well. haha nvm our group was the most original. duh with bohan as the boss xD

and then... we had cha dian again! we made qi zhi and kou hao which was again super funny. we were like stoning and staring at each other not knowing what name to call our group. then hao nan suggested bing ma yong, cuz he thought that bohan looked like one. ROFL! hahaha in the end after a lot of stoning we settled for 秦兵! damn cool right? the making of our qi zhi was quite pathetic cuz other groups all started and we were still stoning. so we got xu zechang to write 秦兵 on the flag and we stoned again for super long before we finished it. but whatever our flag looked nice in the end. and we had to think of a kou hao... somehow song che came up with this from dunno wherever she heard it from

一二三，三二一

我们秦兵有默契

四五六，五六七

我们秦兵拿第一

秦兵秦兵我爱你

就像老鼠爱大米

YEAH!:)

LOL super funny lah. oh actually the bsp is cheer is also quite weird

he he ha he

我们是BSP

he he ha he

我们双语人才

he he ha he

我们学贯中西

he he ha he

我们天-下-无-敌!!

ny ppl were super reluctant to cheer it at first lah, but it did kinda get better..

oh then this dj came to talk to us bout her learning experience in london and beijing. was quite interesting... then we had dinner! whoa see all pigs liao lah. and we had the you xi. whoa that one was super luan. the first one 秦兵 went to was the melt as much ice as possible game. we melted a lot and put into the pail only to realise that... the stupid pail had a crack and A LOT of water came out =.= lousy lah and we were only the first group there. then there were other games like sliding to the rubbish bag and the throwing a bag full of soapy water at yr sl. and we had water fight which was juz crazy. hahah and bohan showed us that he has a lot of enemies cuz everyone wanted to splash water on him. in the end he hai our group kena splashed with soap water!

3rd June - Wednesday

this was like the boring day.. cept for wen yu wan hui! shall not elaborate much. basically it was: zao can, movie, cha dian, analyse movie, wu can, movie, cha dian. analyse movie. WOW... like we eat, watch, eat, watch. see how much food we get. its totally overload lah. haha and the aunties dun listen to u. cuz she scooped up this big serving of chicken or something then i told her shao yidian. so she put it back in, but scooped up the same amount and dumped it on my plate =.= LOL.

then we were preparing for wen yu wan hui! omgosh this is like the highlight of the whole camp lah! everyone was super high! i think our plot for the performance was super cool lah.. kay i shall introduce the characters:

wen zi - carmen

che zi (we all call it ce zhi! xD) - song che

cang ying - xu ze chang

zai de - zai wei

Hiu Tung and nerice were narrators and the rest of us were singing. hahaha here's how it goes:

[sings first verse of 今天你要嫁给我]

春暖的花開帶走冬天的感傷　

微風吹來浪漫的氣息

每一首情歌忽然充滿意義　

我就在此刻突然見到你

wen zi and che zi are a lesbian couple deeply in love. they enter the stage by running towards each other. they do some super gay stuff and start holding hands, walking round the stage.

[finishes singing]

che zi: wen zi! 我爱你!

wen zi: che zi! 我也爱你!

*makes heart shape with hands joint together*

[sings chorus of 今天你要嫁给我]

聽我說　

手牽手跟我一起走　

創造幸福的生活昨天你來不及　

明天就會可惜
今天嫁給我好嗎

wen zi and che zi continue holding hands and walking around the stage happily. wen zi then spins che zi around.

[finishes singing]

[start singing part of 心跳]

你的眼神充滿美麗

帶走我的心跳

你的溫柔如此靠近

帶走我的心跳
逆轉時光到一開始

能不能給一秒

等著哪一天你也想起

那懸在記憶中的美好

wen zi spins che zi around and suddenly when she stops she sees cang ying in front of her. he's a bsp scholar and che zi falls in love with him. both their eyes meet while the song is being sung.

[finishes singing]

che zi and cang ying walk out of stage holding hands happily. wen zi is so heartbroken that she faints and lands in the hospital. meanwhile zai de who has always liked her comes forward. he is this ugly monster and so he never dared to tell wen zi that he likes her.

[starts singing 童话]

忘了有多久

再沒聽到你

對我說你最愛的故事

我想了很久

我開始慌了

是不是我又做錯什麼

你哭著對我說

童話裡都是騙人的

我不可能是你的王子

也許你不會懂

從你說愛我以后

我的天空星星都亮了

我願變成童話裡

你愛的那個天使

張開雙手

變成翅膀守護你

你要相信

相信我們會像童話故事裡

幸福和快樂是結局

meanwhile zai de is slowly walking towards wen zi. he kneels down beside her and shakes her to try and get her to wake up. despite his many attempts, wen zi does not get up. finally after a while wen zi wakes up and zai de gives her a cup of water to drink.

[finishes singing]

wen zi drinks the water and then opens her eyes. she is shocked to see and ugly creature in front of her and spits out all the water before dying of shock. zai de is heartbroken

zai de: mummy! its over!!

THE END! =D

mwahahah i think ours is super zai lah! damn cool right? LOL zheng ting came up with the plot, plus additions from everyone else. ahaha and i think our choice of song is damn good as well xD super qia dang.

nanyang's performance was good too! ahaha the qi fen was damn nice. lol and we saw the extent of how many ppl ny had when we went up on stage to perform and saw the hall half empty x)

oh then we took 秦兵 group photo! =)

4th June - Thursday

xu zechang left early so the rest of us were in the canteen eating breakfast and some crazy thing happened. hahaha boss was talking bout how hc guys in our grp were so obviously bored and kinda sleeping during the talk as compared to ny girls, when carmen suddenly said that she was actually looking at zheng ting's tui mao! xDD damn funny lah! lol then after that boss when everywhere talking bout carmen's lian mao pi =.=

had this talk this byt johnny lau, the creator of mr kiasu. and after that was the ban jiang dian li! lol they gave every group a prize -.-''' cheat our feelings. haha and there were a lot of jiang like 最团结奖，最可爱奖，最有默契奖, etc..

but then they gave 秦兵 最佳魔鬼组合! whathe heck is that! hahaha but whatever man.. i bet it was cuz of bohan xD LOL.

yup that was about it lah and after that we went back to nanyang. bsp camp was damn fun lah! =D

juz that i still had to get 1200 bookmarks after we got back to ny =.= lol xian.

2009-06-09T00:05:00.002+08:00

gonna blog in detail bout the past week! heh monday had street sales that rachel was supposed to come for but she didnt come cuz she was sick. brought brandon along, so in the morning it was brandon, joyan and me. did quite well for our first street sales, i think. haha and its quite interesting to see all the different reactions you get from various people, like how they desperately try to avoid you. audrey came in the afternoon, after practising for the dance part of the performance for bsp camp. we were like counting our money and merchandise in public, whoops xD haha but there was no other place so i was feeling kind of worried that someone would juz come over and snatch our stuff. oh the bookmarks sell super well =D

bsp camp! ahaha went to sch on tues to assemble and go to sports sch for bsp camp. lol yang was damn luan about who was in mo and who wasnt, so she kept calling out names of ppl she thought were supposed to be assembly then, but they actually had mo. lol was stoning around with chloe.

ahh lol gtg liao. i'll like continue bout bsp camp tmr or something.

so what?

2009-06-05T23:11:00.002+08:00

been super busy since the hols started. got a lot to post about but like no time now. haha monday street sales, tuesday to thurs bsp camp, fri street sales. no break lah. and i juz wanted to say that im very irritated by certain yfc groups. cuz we're not supposed to have ny volunteers and these ppl dun care about it. they continue recruiting volunteers from ny and getting them to help out in their street sales when idiots like us have no ny ppl for volunteers at all. its not that we didnt recruit as well right? but in the end we told them not to come. its not fair lah. if we had ny volunteers, we would be making like so much more during our street sales. its no big deal to brag about how much you made if u didnt do it how you were supposed to. and sry but we dun have rich parents to back us up or anything. so shut up and go away.

2009-05-28T22:29:00.002+08:00

sabbats week! ahaha i like my sabbats. organic cooking is like quite fun and we get A LOT of food. haha really a lot lah. the portions are quite huge. and she makes a lot of nice stuff. haha plus we have entertainment from random people infiltrating the kitchen during our sabbats. haha the humour ppl tze, erica and jinyin always stand outside and laugh. lol but tze always comes in and she got 'caught' by mrs kuan today. xD

then stained glass was finishing up the cutting and grinding of the glass pieces. lol copper foiling now.

training. i think i've juz become the most hated person on chai's hate list or something. i keep opposing him and not doing what he wants for obvious reasons. why the hell do me and wan qing need to wear wigs juz because we are acting as old people in his stupid xiao pin? and what happens when i tell him the wigs will fall off? all he can do is ask us to think of a way to prevent it from dropping, cuz if we dun think of a way there's no way that it wont drop. and he turns back and asks me why other ppl can wear wigs while fighting and yet they wont drop off.

chai: 如果你不要假发掉出来，你就想阿，想个办法让他不要掉下来吗，真是的。怎么那些人戴假发都可以打来打去，你们却不行呢？想阿，你不想怎么会知道。真是的，现在的孩子怎么这样的？

that was something along the lines of what chai said. like whathe hell? in the first place, why must me and wan qing be the ones thinking about how to attach the freaking wigs without letting it fall when we fight and fall and wtv crap. and you think it's that easy to get a wig ah? in case you dun know, you need MONEY. that stupid chai lah. not that he will even pay or anything right. then he still wants me and wan qing to change to lao ren clothes for the xiao pin then change back. so what? change to byf, kai chang, jiti, change clothes, xiao pin, change back, bi mu. wow. very fun eh? that is like so realistic and i'll probably collapse halfway in the middle of the performance. not that i dun have to walk from one end to another and wtv crap.

chai is an ass. he thinks so highly of himself juz cuz he's in charge of this foa performance. walao eh he didnt care half as much about our comps. and no wu, we dun appreciate you trying to talk to us about yr wonderful 'xiao chai' as you call him, cuz the 2 of you are in the same league and there's no point saying anything. and if you call him 小伙子, then everyone in wushu would be 幼儿. pls lah he's not that young. and somehow what the 2 of u say dun actually match. chai keeps saying that ta jian guo hen duo xue sheng, shen me yang de xue sheng mei jian guo. then wu goes on about how young chai is and we should give him a chance because he's not very experience. HAH. stop talking bout how young chai is in front of us when he's probably double our age =.= hello he may be young to you cuz you're so old but no we do not find him young.

training sucked, sucks and will continue to suck for i dunno how long. there's no point in doing it over and over again if we arent convince we should yong xin to do it. use your brains, idiot. no one is really doing the performance stuff properly lah. foa is gonna be a failure. hah. lucikly we're in the afternoon performance eh? cuz no one wants to watch us, we dun want ppl to see this kind of performance and we wont get ppl watching anyway. its not worth watching anyway.

2009-05-24T16:57:00.002+08:00

open house yesterday was quite pointless lah. like everything was screwed up and my whole body felt like it was breaking apart thanks to 5 items on friday. or rather the falling down from sbj part. my arms feel quite dead now... and apparantly it looked quite scary when i juz piaked down like that... anyway, for open house wushu was supposed to perform in the quadrangle, but somehow it ended up being npcc. xian lah. supposed to perform jiti with 3 ppl. wth?! so we ended up getting ching yee to come after MO and alyssa and yiting to come cuz they were staying in the boarding sch. haha but when we finally did perform it was damn screwed. the quadrangle was damn slippery that i kept slipping and almost fell. plus we hadnt lianed the tao since comps ended so sorta wang dong zuo. haha sarah yr ce shuai! xD

me, grace and susi were talking bout our wushu and our batch being underpriviledged and stuff before the rest came. and we were feeling bu zhi for ourselves =.= haha but whatever lah then we talked bout next year's captain, that can actually be anyone. cuz we all have a fairly equal chance and no one is despo to become captain or anything. and emily is pro in wushu, but like a captain has to actually come for enough trainings and stuff... lol and i dun think anyone in my batch actually wants to be a captain. haha cuz it comes with all that responsibility and crap.

had lunch as a batch with the coupons and stuff which were supposed to only be enough for 10 people?! yeah right. lol then we talked bout quite a lot of stuff.. with cun zhang and all that. haha then after that went into the bs and watch ppl go crazy of mvs =.=

the holiday training is like wow... fully packed lah. and all cuz of foa. not that we're even performing for the 7.30pm show right.

2009-05-21T23:39:00.002+08:00

I'm not happy with my grades. Not satisfied. I'm sick of getting mediocre grades, but forgot the feeling of what it's like to attain mediocrity. You nod, feel a little shitty, then get over it. Maybe get a little uplifted by the fact that you didn't get zero, and who bloody cares anyway? I've failed at a lot of stuff this year. But it's not as fascinating as getting some very high mark. I missed a lot of lessons but that's not enough to feed my ego. By all means, get what you get, and good for you, but personally I'm disgusted with whatever I've achieved so far. Achieved isn't even the right word for it. All I've done is laid back and let nature take its course.
- saw all these on jia's blog and i find it extremely appicable?

not really gonna rant bout not being satisfied with my grades, but i juz feel cheated. im getting to used to getting this kind of grades and its sickening. and i HATE it when people complain in my face about how lousy they are when im probably like an ultimate failure compared to them. so shut up now before i blow up in your face. there's something i wanna say bout 213 and 313, that after we get back our marks, it is very different in these 2 classes. 213 will have like practically the whole class ranting about their wonderfully low marks and seriously lah these ppl always HAPPEN to be those who do well. things are like more toned down in 313? when i get back my marks, i dun feel the same pressure of comparison as when i was in 213. thats because most ppl know that they shouldnt kick up a big fuss over nothing. so like if you're one of those who suck like shit with yr get back exams/marks reaction, go find your own world of friends like that and rant all you want cuz im not the least bit interested.

nowadays im getting damn sick of stuff and some ppl are juz being so fake? like i have no idea wtf you want cuz you're like trying to do who knows what. and please rmb that im not invisible and that i actually exist? like hello. no its not funny if you ignore me one moment and act like you're on 100% good terms with me the next. stop faking lah.

napfa tmr! lol its 5 stations...

2009-05-14T23:11:00.003+08:00

whoops i havent blogged in like a loooooong time. haha this is super lag but kay hilary i'll talk bit bout 4x400m. lol i think we did like super well lah! i mean like some of us never tried runnign 400m before and we never ran together and stuff. haha lol when hui ran was running towards me to pass the baton i was still damn scared bout running 400, cuz like my long dis is =.= but eh the 400m was damn fun lah! haha overtaking ppl is damn shuang as well. we came in like 3rd in our heat which is super good lah, considering the other ppl competing.

ah going crazy nowadays. got back all the block test papers and as usual, it was disappointing. careless mistakes are like the bane of my life or something. cuz they are really damn costly. lol my history paper the best lah. 11/13 for sbq, then 4/12 for essay =.= wah piang eh end up scrape 60% xian. and on a random note, lily chua has 3 dogs and 4 cats who apparently fight for her attention and get jealous of one another when she gives one of them more attention o.O

xian lah. i cant stand getting like this kind of crappy results anymore. and no im not like those lousy ppl who have dumb ideas on what crappy means. i dun want to get used to it, but like somehow my efforts dun really pay off? its tiring to keep trying and failing like some idiot. i think like since p4 i never got results that i felt were actually up to some standard maybe cept for chinese sometimes. and the only time i do super well for everything is PSLE =.= then go to sec sch it goes back again. and now what? my chinese is screwed as well. what BSP scholar? dun come and tell me im in bsp and im a scholar so my chinese better than yours. cuz my results probably show that i have wonderfully sucky chinese. for all you know they take me off scholarship in view of my wonderful performance in chinese so far.

somehow i juz cant get what i think i deserve, esp when its not a lot to ask for. anyway training today was like waste of time lah. chai should stop bothering bout his stupid xiao pin and stop deceiving himself that he's steven spielberg in charge of some hollywood blockbuster or something. cuz he thinks too highly of himself. shouldnt we be focusing more on our jiti? the xiao pin is an additional thing, not the main focus of our performance. and he's becoming super overbearing when pai-ing the dui da parts during the xiao pin. lol so all we do is ignore chai. haha and its damn funny acting with wan qing. lol lao tai po! we'll like sit at one side and criticise him and do random stuff.

一定会向世界证明我存在

2009-04-26T13:48:00.003+08:00

went for the ldp thing yesterday. and was damn xian lah. the first speech was still okay then that guy went to speak and wth he took up like half an hour. he's speech was supposed to be what, 15 mins? and before he started his speech still said that the emcee shouldnt introduce the speaker longer than his speech. make ppl think that he's speech going to be damn short =.= xian.

went island creamery to discuss ih proposal! man...space junk. lol i bet we wont finish it by mon xD hahaha and like half of us have exams on mon... history blocks! whooo... i dun want it to be as screwed as ih leh... cuz the format and timing is almost exactly the same. october revolution! hahaha lenin, bolsheviks, what not.

and i juz got reminded of how much recognition wushu gets. we get wonderful teachers in charge who only come like once or twice and thats juz before our comps. they come to suan us and whatnot, plus they didnt even bring our number tags. and then when we wanna lian, they act like wow im so concerned out yr welfare, when in reality you're juz afraid cuz it becomes your responsibility. then there's the wu guan that i highly believe is only called wu guan by the wushu ppl. everyone else calls it rooftop hall. the dance studio is called the dance studio, bball courts are called bball courts, badminton courts are called badminton courts, so why is the wu guan called rooftop hall? i think if u go general office and ask for wu guan key, no one will know what you're talking bout. and there's allt he crap bout us not being authorised to draw the key. like hello? we're from wushu and we cant draw the key when teachers in charge of ccas like nick ng can juz get the key and us the rooftop hall for theatre.

and all that stuff bout SYFs, sport ccas getting blah blah blah. its always about something else other than wushu. and it isnt juz cuz we didnt really do that well this year. even on the day of comps, there's no oh good luck wushu! but there's all the good luck for modern dance and netball when they were competing on the same day as us. wtv man we shall own at our jiti! =D

2009-04-23T22:16:00.002+08:00

NYWS is performing for this wen yi jie thing, some arts festival. hahaha and like our batch is all like alive again cuz we get to do jiti again and we're performing! cuz our comps were like... lol but not only the sec 3s are doing it. hilary, moony, yee win and wan qing are joining us. haha so got like 11 ppl! O.O quite scary...

ih paper today.... man didnt finish the paper. if i can pass i'll be happy =.= and got chem paper back! oh my sheesh... quite badly done. but wtv lah had comps the day before and barely studied so okay lah...

oh and we got in for YFC! ahahah =D

Batch outing! =D

2009-04-20T22:49:00.004+08:00

wushu batch outing! haha we went to plaza sing on sat but lol the time that we came was all quite screwed. there was this dumb jam on the highway lah and 190 took super long to reach. so we ended up watching 17 again. lol carissa i know u wanna watch it! hahaha! but not bad lah, better than i expected it to be. and why does zac effron always = bball...

then lousy adverts took up like half an hour! so when we came out quite a lot of time wasted liao. then we went to cineleisure to take neoprints. hahaha it was damn high lah! like we were all over the place scrambling like xiao. and the neoprints machine we went to was quite slow liao. hahaha but a lot of weird poses and guai backgrounds. then the editing part was damn high as well lah! hahaha i think all the neoprints are nice! lol i want all of them... after that sarah and susi left but we didnt really erm fo much. ahaha spent like 20 plus mins walking round finding a pizza hut =.= and by then i had to go liao!

yfc interview tmr! lol so not going for training tmr and im leaving sch early! =) haha shuang. I.WANT.TO.MISS.HISTORY.cuz i have so much history stuff undone and lily chua is juz....

today was a sucky day. and i dun have much to say bout it but you are pissing me off like shit right now. seriously i have no idea if u actually know what you have done, or actually what you have not done for that matter. and i dunno if u know who you are. but seriously you suck and stop thinking so highly of yrself and implicate others juz cuz of wtv stuff you have. its not as though we dun have our own commitments.

2009-04-17T23:34:00.003+08:00

Well... things didnt turn out as they should have. and yah like a lot of sec 3 myws ppl, i dunno what to say cuz i dun think we deserved it at all. 不甘愿。after we did our tao and got our scores we were juz like 'what?!' , cuz everything juz ended like that. all the effort and time that we put in was only worth so much in the end. of course, there's all these stuff bout the process being more important than the outcome, but its obviously not as easy to face it than to juz say it. because we really did put in everything.

there were like so many things that happened before the comps which juz sucked. we had excellent teachers in charge who didnt bring our number tag and we only realised when we were nearing chung cheng. there was barely an hour more to sec 2s jiti when that happened. then we had some nice tour around paya lebar and kallang before finally reaching chung cheng. and yee win lost her byf on the bus. that bus driver said it wasnt on the bus but when we went back at the end of the day, it was there. she didnt compete in the end.

people keep asking how we did but i cant face the fact that you know we got.... and up till now i never directly answered that question as to what position we got. biasedness, lousy judging, whatever it is. but 7.83 is an insult. cuz we didnt deserve it. if they could get like 7.96, why couldnt we get above 8? we were obviously a lot better than them. nothing to say. but we all did our best and frankly speaking, we dun have ourselves to blame. from the time that they announced our score till this point in time i still have this sinking feeling that i dun think i experienced before. it juz felt so heavy. great that the sec 4s and emily got 3rd for jitidao! cuz if they didnt i think we would have felt a lot worse. go NYWS!

and this whole thing bout the boyfriend is damn stupid. it's really xiao ti da zuo lah. so what? you're with yr friends and u see this guy you know, so u wave to him and somehow he becomes yr bf? oh wow. seriously lah its not funny. there's absolutely no reasoning. so every guy that i know somehow can become my bf? yeah right. and pls lah going and spamming the tagboard of someone you dun even know with such crap...

2009-04-14T22:56:00.002+08:00

15th APRIL! Jiti comps tmr! went to chung cheng to shi di tan today and we had like quite a lot of time cuz we were the first sch to go there =D chung cheng's di tan is damn slippery lah, damn easy to fall. esp the running to circle part. must be some conspiracy to make all competitors fall or something.

training felt weird esp since we came back from chung cheng. haha we were sprouting lots of nonsense, esp with the what we look like and the zookeeper thing. what shark in the hwa chong pool =.= hahaha but damn amusing lah.

leaving sch super early tmr for comps! JITI at chung cheng. JIAYOU b div quan shu! GO NYWS! lets do our best and own them!

2009-04-07T00:10:00.002+08:00

School sucks like shit nowadays, its become some never ending torture. 313 eh? comps today gave a damn sad feeling lah.. seriously feel damn bu zhi for some ppl... congrats to angelina for getting 3rd, qian yi for getting 4th and wai leng for getting 4th! =D JIAYOU NYWS!!! oh and shun xiang yr xin jian is pro lah. walao i think it's juz that there's too many pro ppl.

and our jiti! ahhh the sense of urgency isnt there for some ppl. and yeah like sarah said in her blog, everyone thinks our jiti you xi wang can win something. but everytime we do something will go wrong. SOMEHOW. there's this fear that this same thing will happen during comps lah. which is why we NEED to lian with EVERYONE... 15th april!

2009-03-26T23:40:00.002+08:00

Take just a couple of minutes to take this test & see what happens!If you are honest this tells the truth -- it's pretty good.Write your answers on a paper, NO cheating!The answers are at the bottom...

1. Which is your favorite color: red, black, blue, green, or yellow? Green
2.. Your first initial? V
3. Your month of birth? February
4. Which color do you like more, black or white? Black
5. Name of a person of the same sex as yours. Jean
6. Your favorite number? 13
7. Do you like California or Florida more? California
8. Do you like a lake or the ocean more? Ocean
9. Write down a wish (a realistic one) GOLD FOR JITI! and good results for blocks! (which would be everyone else's definition of average and lousy eh?) - heh i know it says a wish. but still...

Answers:
1. If you choose:
Red - You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black - You are conservative and aggressive.
Green - Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back
Blue - You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from theones you love.
Yellow - You are a very happy person and give good advice tothose who are down.

2. If your initial is:
A-K - You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
L-R - You try to enjoy your life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom.
S-Z - You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

3. If you were born in:
JAN - MAR: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
APR - JUN: You will have a strong love relationship that will lastforever.
JUL - SEP: You will have a great year and will experience amajor life-changing experience for the good.
OCT - DEC: Your love life will be great, you will find your soul mate.

4. If you chose...
Black : Your life will take on a different direction, it will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.
White: You have a friend who completely confides in you andwould do anything for you, but you may not realize it.

5. This person should be your best friend.

6. This is how many close friends you will have in your lifetime.

7. If you chose:
California : You like adventure.
Florida ! : You are a laid back person.

8. If you chose:
Lake : You are loyal to your friends and your lover and are veryreserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

2009-03-21T19:06:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARAH QUEK!

HAHA AND HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO GRACE KOH!

2009-03-14T22:52:00.003+08:00

the bsp thing today was dumb lah. and damn xian. lol the start was okay, and i actually learnt something. but then came the forum that was freaking pointless... was dozing off some time during the forum even though like i was in the second row with zhi qi. the distinguished guests or whatever who were sitting in front of me we on stage talking, which meant they had a full view of me.. sleeping and doing hw =.= and hmmm there were ppl taking pics too. oh i never knew grace lim had the sap scholarship! hahaha so cool! saw her there and was like o.O

missed training today cuz of this. next sat also cant go for training cuz of bsp. but erm i suppose next week's one is more useful and interesting cuz it's sorta more centered round bsp. apparently xue bought sweets from hk to give to the wushu ppl O.O interesting... and our byf is ready! hmmm hope it doesnt turn out oversized or something.

comps are coming!!! jiayou ppl

2009-03-12T00:00:00.001+08:00

haha dead i know. but there's no time to revive it xD OBS was great! haha and thanks to the smart ppl who brought my birthday present to OBS. i was scared it would get lost lor!

ahhh shit history SBQ test today... feb revolution!

2009-02-22T23:45:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEAN WONG!

hahaha happy birthday! not so happy cuz of chicken pox though xD aiya yr bdae present man man deng lah! since u not coming to sch next week. then obs u also not going. haha then we can exchange bdae presents cuz my birthday would have passed by then xD we always talk bout *aherm* stuff! hahaha but it's a way to fa xie and laugh bout stuff. and u and yr ah liu lah. wo wu hua ke shuo about the x) anyway enjoy yr 2 weeks without sch! hahaha =D

zuo wen, jian bao, bsp presentation. wth so much work for chinese

2009-02-20T19:30:00.005+08:00

Rules:It's harder than it looks!

Copy to your own note, erase my answers, enter yours, and tag twenty people.Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real...nothing made up! If the person before you had the same first initial, you must use different answers. You cannot use any word twice and you can't use your name for the boy/girl name question.

omg v got so little words can

1. What is your name : Venus

2. A four Letter Word : Vote

3. A boy's Name : Victor

4. A girl's Name : Valerie

5. An occupation : Vet (I almost put vegetable seller! xD)

6. A color : Violet

7. Something you'll wear : Vest

8. A food : vulture can or not? xD vanilla ice cream i guess

9. Something found in the bathroom: ???!!! (I give up)

10. A place : hahaha venus the planet?

11. A reason for being late : Venus is usually late! =.=

12. Something you'd shout : VICTORY!

13. A movie title : ??? Vendetta (frm google)

14. Something you drink : Vitagen

15. A musical group : i have no idea!!

16. An animal : Vulture

17. A street name : Venus drive! =D

18. A type of car : ???

19. The title of a song : o.O venus (from google: there really is such a song and it sounds damn weird - eww what 'im yr venus')

tag ppl!
1) sarah
2) jean
3) tze (u do it on 213 class blog and revive it or smth)
4) je (haha u also the same)
5) audrey
6) grace (but i wanna see!)
7) jia yu
8) eggy
9) moony
10) yee win
11) hilary
12) esther
13) shun xiang
14) carissa
15) lynn (even though yr blog is dead)
16) jing ting
17) bao xian
18) yi ting
lol i lazy tag last 2 ppl. do if u wanna do

2009-02-20T00:26:00.002+08:00

today was some major sucky day lah. why did everything suck so much. like wth the worst was lunch then la and the dumb math remedial. walao supposed to start at 2, then end up almost 3 then start. wth, went damn late for wushu lah. but ahaha the speakers are nice! lol and we were trying to make the xie xian not have a gradient of 0, which would mean it wouldnt be xie =.= we shang chang with 5 ppl, be the circle thing so cool lah. like dong, nan, xi, bei, zhong xD okay i know it's dumb. but xue is dumber lah. he wanted make us do wa tiao, but nv say anything about what we're supposed to do. still tell us stand in one row and zuo ah! nv even say zuo shen me, how we know what to do =.= A BIT dumb nia. but xi guan liao lor. and i wonder how the byf will look like.

2009-02-18T22:10:00.002+08:00

too busy to post! ah... bleugh life is xian. wtv. lol ths is gonna be a very very short post =.= now i now why DEADlines are called DEADlines xD oh man bsp has too much influence!

当你出生时，你在哭，而爱你的人在笑；当你死亡时，你在笑，而爱你的人在哭。

dumb thing

2009-02-09T19:02:00.002+08:00

You are The Moon

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

LOL i took this cuz when eggy took it, she got this:

You are The EmpressBeauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents, beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

that's like pure dumbness lah. how can i be so related to eggy teo =.=

Vaporise everything in the way

2009-02-06T01:18:00.005+08:00

This whole week has been damn killer and it's gonna go on for who knows how long.... WHY IS EVERYTHING HAPPENING IN THE FIRST QUARTER OF THE YEAR??? already im having problems arranging msp make up lesson (ysd tch cny celebration so dun have) cuz it clashes with wushu. and i dun wanna stay back on other days leh wth. freak lah malay this yr sucks. cuz cikgu is juz.... and she give damn lot of work lah wtf. why do teachers always seem to think students are very free? and i still wanted to start on nyaa =.= i should juz drop dead and die now so i dun have to do anything and can actually get some decent sleep. lol why i keep saying die die die... maybe cuz of bsp juz now xD

cip at kwong wai shu was amusing. the stage was freaking small lah. hmmm someday u should go listen to acs (i) guys sing xD

永远等待那一日咱可以出头天

2009-01-23T23:56:00.004+08:00

cny celebrations today! lol but didnt really feel in the cny mood. i came to sch and realised i forgot to bring any hui chun stuff. so i juz skipped the whole thing and watched jean write her chun lian! xD hahaha i wonder if its a coincidence or on purpose *cough* but the last word of the chun lian was liu. cept that it was liu shui de liu, not ah liu de liu. aiya tong yin zi no diff lah! right jean? x)

then went to jie dai lao ren for cip =.= so we brought them to the hall and there was no space for us. so we went up to the gallery! =P hahaha shuang. and our class had a new addition of sarah! lol we went to ms chooi and told her sarah couldnt find her class. and she was talking bout her lie detector -.-''' i have this feeling she was suspicious about what me and sarah were gonna do. cuz in the gallery, she was like standing behind us for really quite a long time =.= and yes i was diao-ing all the way. finally she went to sit down so it became more normal.

i have decided im lazy so i shall kope some of sarah's post and add in my own. "I've decided that I felt both angry and..well, disappointed, firstly because I think it's rather more than slightly unfair and secondly because when we do get to, it'll be our first and last one. And I've never heard of the juniors doing and the seniors not. Which is nothing against them, not really. Now, this would be where my sarcasm kicks in and says, "Okay, sure, I suppose you wanted me to fly back from NZ every Tuesday and Thursday. And I suppose you think that, despite it being the December holidays, no one is on holiday. Haha. Very funny. I don't think." But then I decided not to be sarcastic because goodness knows, that would warrant me an even bigger scolding, no? And from what I could see of the performance, it's not like it was better than what we could have done."

so many ppl have came to ask why weren't u performing? and what do we say? that oh we're a terribly lousy batch and our juniors are wayyy better than us. not that im blaming the sec 2s, cuz they really dun have anything to do with this. the first and the last performance will be sooo fun, wont it? and at the last training chai apparently said he wanted us to perform cuz the performance was too short. but wow cuz there's no byf, we cant perform. didnt we not have byf last yr when we did nzq at cca concert last year? how amazing. so the only time we actually perform and with a byf is when we're sec 4!this is a damn sad case. it's juz exhausting to have to keep bringing this up but if we are oh so constantly reminded by that fact then i figure i might as well vent it out. frankly speaking, you should be glad we're actually feeling disappointed, sad and angry and wtv. cuz i think it will at a point reach somewhere where we really cant be bothered to feel anything. the sense of attachment is fading slowly and before you know it, it will juz fade into the background. we'll juz be going through the motion and all i can say that it's a sad case, cuz we didnt want it to happen. the truth is that today's performance was really... its so damn obvious even to ppl not in wushu. and yeah its not as though they even did it better than what we could have done. enough said.

at least we have unity within our batch =D

went back to henry park after the celebrations! and i met err a lot of ppl on the bus. le en, hern hern, karen, nol, yee win and lilia. as usual 156 was damn crowded. and i only saw nol when i got off the bus. then we went to find the rest in the staff room. but the sch made some announcement in the staff room that can be summarised as: get out now. lol it wasnt that bad but the celebrations didnt end with the intended celebratory mood due to obvious reasons.

lol so many ppl lazy go back. so it was quite stone. and omg ke yuxuan grow so fast! he's like taller than nol liao wth. damn lah means next time i see him he's gonna be taller than me liao. i still rmb him being one of the shorties in class then suddenly shoot up. hahaha and apparently li ke said he finally found someone who's stare could match mrs chong's. interesting. we watched bit of the performance and omg suddenly henry park has wushu as a cca! im not sure if the coach is weng qing hai, but i know he's called vincent, so quite likely. and they were quite pro lor! but they do everything including jiti, cept for jian. and the coolest part was that they weren't doing si duan! so cool lah. and their jiti was jitiquan that was nice! they enter and exit the time in like marching in, so very amusing. some more they all so small size! somehow even though i dun know them, i felt happier watching them. the feeling when watching the performance in henry park and nanyang was very different.

me and sharmaine went up the stairs to see the indoor sports hall they built by destroying the field. well it is nice, but i dun think the field deserved that. there's like a small pathetic plot of land there that's supposed to be called a soccer pitch. li ke came after that and we decided to shoot a bit. haha yeah bball! and soccer in between too, cuz we were kicking the ball even though it wasnt a soccer ball. that hoop is short =.= lol but it's a primary sch!! xD my shots were okay-ishly zhun. and the hoop in nice and steady, unlike the hoop in sch that looks and sounds like it's gonna drop off any second. oh and li ke can do backflip! omg damn zai lah!. like we were in the court then he suddenly asked us to see something. then he juz did a backflip in the court! and apparently he can do li yu da ting too! i think the hc wushu performance was quite zai, cuz li ke was saying that it was nice. lol shun xiang still say u not pro =.=

after that went to jelita with sharmaine! we walked around the bookstore cuz she had to buy bdae present for her friend. but the shop the stuff damn ex lor. so in the end even though spent a lot of time there, nv buy anything =.= we saw kawin. he still looks so much like nol lor! and both go same schools. damn funny when kawin waved to nol in the kidz zone. lol anyway, we came out of jelita and the 165 came so we took it to clementi. cuz i juz saw sharmaine last month, i didnt think we would talk a lot. but omg we juz talked and talked. like pah, pah, pah everything juz came out! it felt so familiar and so good to talk so casually to her.

hahaha and here i must congratulate sharmaine for graduating from the course: find yr way round singapore xD LOL cuz in bout 2 years u have changed from not knowing where to tap yr ez link card *coughs and laughs violently* to erm actually knowing yr way around =) we went to eat at this jap place that sharmaine said has nice and cheap food. hahaha turned out to be quite true. there was really a lot of liao! and i was so erm busy taking food or drinks from like 9 places or something. sounds weird i know. and they gave a plate of free stuff too! lol then sharmaine kept stealing my food *aherm*. It was really nice going out and juz talking, forgetting bout today morning and other stuff as well.

then we went to the bus interchange to wait for 173. hahaha so qiao that we both were taking 173 to meet other ppl. but the stupid 173 take so damn long lah! then we got on and sharmaine was trying to read my smses from guys =.= wow who's the one in the mixed sch? lol but she didnt find what she was looking for. not that you would have sharmaine, cuz there's nothing in there that u wanna see! x) then she got off the bus and went for her friend's party. lol sharmaine did u eat the 3 pieces of pizza in the end? went to toh yi and met eggy and tiny. nicole and her sister were there too. so played for a while then stoned under the block, while some disgusting ppl decided to play with the oranges =.=

they went to vivo so i walked to the bus stop. 67 and 961 passed by but they were full to the brim, so i thought i'd sit down and eat something. shei zhi dao, the moment i sat down the long 67 came and it was freaking empty, but no time to run to the bus liao. so i ate prata and stoned for a while before going to the bus stop. but but the craziest thing i saw when i was eating was that there were 4 67s in the span of 10, 15 minutes! omg crazy lah! and i missed them all =.=

i dunno why this post is so long, but i juz typed and typed and yeah it juz became like that.

its all an act

2009-01-17T23:31:00.003+08:00

there's nothing to blog about these days at all. 313 is juz a terrible idea. it's scarily different and unfeeling. at least there are dumb teachers to make fun of. and i realised that late last year i was putting on this invisible mask and was juz going with the flow ying-chou ing ppl, not meaning what i say. maybe this year it juz remained. i dunno. but i feel zombie-ish in class. In the past i came to class anticipating to talk to ppl and do nonsense. now i go into class anticipating the most interesting lesson of the day. and no it has nothing to do with me becoming more guai or wtv. the atmosphere in class is so stale and so... fake. and of course it only feels real among like one or two ppl in class, which is plain scary. cuz it's like living in this world where everyone is all smiles and friendly, but many conversations not work related dun go beyond the word hi. whats there to say? and if chooi somehow decides to try and integrate us by changing our seating arrangements, sch is juz gonna become more zombie-fied.

and talking to 'old' people is amusing.

2009-01-15T23:57:00.003+08:00

im really not getting the point of doing that anymore. it's become somewhat pointless because it wasnt our fault. juz cuz we have ppl going for long hols and stuff. and looking at whatever they're doing is juz... i dunno what to say. bleugh.

*edit*

juz realised. i have another thing to say. i have no idea why i went to so much trouble to change the day for 3rd lang. i might juz have been better off that way. cuz im juz going to be freaking tired for 3 days in a row tues, wed, thurs. and when i go home not much gets done. maybe it was better if it was on thurs. it's pathetic. and in some ways insulting. because we didnt do it on purpose or wtv. it juz happened. and some ppl were like us too in the past u know. 3 YEARS! i cant believe that okay. and it's not as though we dun try. when we do ppl dun know it. when we dont they somehow happen to know a lot bout it. how fair's that?

*edit*

and sch is juz somewhat pointless too. like we have so many slack or lousy teachers it doesnt really matter whether we have lessons or not. and the whole 212, 213 thing is never gonna be changed. it's pretty obvious cuz sometimes we cant stand them and they cant stand us. history is like the best lesson. and apparantely physics is nice too. so my original combo was a correct decision. but somehow they had to give me a choice that wasnt even a choice. certain teachers suck so much u can be doing 3rd lang throughout their whole lesson even when they are talking cock. la marks are expected to drop drastically this year for obvious reasons.

and im freaking tired these days. maybe its cuz i play bball and sometimes training falls on the same day. maybe cuz the days are damn long and draggy. or maybe there's something wrong with me.

blah these days are a drag..........

2009-01-10T13:19:00.002+08:00

Past few days have juz been passing really slowly i suppose. And friday was shuang-ly slack. as usual ms chooi uh i mean mrs tan took her own sweet time during pccg, so we were like 10 mins late for pe. the badminton coach is quite nice lah, but talks a bit too much =X played badminton with je after pe.

oh then after that was history which was so erm fun and high. haha cuz our table only had me, alicia and amanda we can always talk bout any random thing. we had to do this ws thingy bout revolution and it was quite fun? or maybe cuz me and amanda were amusing ourselves. and i realised my brother is juz like her sister =.= how interesting. then we started talking bout how our parents compare their childhood to our childhood which was juz amusing. and then we went on and on about what we might do in the future. somehow we managed to do the ws properly despite us talking bout erm weird stuff.

then we had sil where i sat next to manda and like chooi was in front of us. haha but before it started we talked bout weird stuff again. lol then chooi kept turning round to scold ppl. lunch went to borrow that malay book then went to the hall. haha shi ting didnt dare to play cuz wn looked too fierce. the game was err okay lah. but i kept hitting tze xD in class je was asking me who shi ting was scared of. i was like duh wn! jia yu looks blur, eggy looks innocent, tiny looks amusing and wn of course looks fierce! hahaha. then chooi came into class and started scolding us. apparently we're not supposed to talk during sil. wow dun talk for 1 hour when u have yr classmates round u? and then we're not supposed to sleep. who doesnt know that? but apparently our 2 form teachers were sleeping during sil, no? i was sitting behind them so i cant be that blind you know. how contradictory.

2009-01-05T17:44:00.002+08:00

okay wow i've left this blog dead for so wonderfully long. and like duh a lot of stuff have happened since then. so 313's ft this year is once again ms chooi! i mean MRS tan, as she wishes to be known as to us. with this co form guy called benjamin kong.the first day was juz stone and weird. cuz yeah 212 + 213 is juz weird. and wow we're divided into 2 cliques (DUH) 212 and 213. all the thirteeners were juz stoning on the first day and the twelvers the enthu ppl?

lol and also cuz sarah's in 301, jean's in 314 so its damn weird. lol sarah in 301 was juz like me when i went to henry park and when i came to ny, sorta solo-ing.

lessons today were okayish. oh during ih mrs kuan said that our class seemed very quiet. haha then shi ting was saying that all the noisy or loud ppl like: jean, lauren, celine, sim hwee, carissa are all in hp. lol it's quite true lor! we had this lucky draw thing during cct and somehow by some chance or luck, i got ms chooi, i mean mrs tan's present. there was this note inside addresed to "lucky" hmmm... well it really is some luck and coincidence.

lets hope tmr's lessons are nice

2008-11-26T16:29:00.002+08:00

lol i finally update after 13 days. sap scholarship interview on fri! haha im not nervous or anything. maybe cuz i dun really care if i get in. cuz im in bsp liao what! xD and it was my mum who wanted me take scholarship. i suspect the interview is 20 mins. wth. and im gonna be interviewed by what 5 ppl?! i'll be answering some questions in eng and some in chi. lol whatever man! china affairs. 2 more days to prepare? and i havent started. why do i wanna join bsp? i juz want lah. damn it how to answer

quiz from jean!

1. My friends are
all diff? lol

2. I am listening to
nothing

3. Maybe i should
start preparing for the sap interview cuz it's on fri!

4. I love
a lot of things?

5. My plan
is to have no plan!

6. I dont understand
why i cant be bothered to do anything

7. I lost
the chance to go for sim hwee's party, class chalet and training. how fun.

8. People say
what they wanna say and i cant control them

9. I am missing
213. i need a class outing now!

10. Love means
something

11. Somewhere, someone
is thinking bout something?!

12. I am always searching for
everything.

13. Forever seems
too amazing

14. I never want to
miss so many things cuz of that ankle

15. My mobile phone is
bright red and its free. how wonderful

16. When i wake up in the morning
i make myself sleep again. seroiusly!

17. I get annoyed when
i feel like i have to. even though sometimes others should be getting annoyed at me. well i regret getting annoyed most of the times cuz im juz so rash and hot tempered.

18. Parties are
nice? haha

19. Hugs or kisses?
Hugs.

20. Today
is juz like any other day

21. Tomorrow
is gonna be juz like today

22. I really want
to watch tv!

23. I
i what? i am venus.

24. What is your phone brand?
philips. oh didnt u know they have handphones?

25. What are the last three digits of your phone number?
428

26. What does the second message in your inbox say?
haha its from sarah saying that she saw deborah! and that deb missed training

27. Who was the last person you rang?
my mum

28. Who was the last missed call from?
err my mum again

29. What does the oldest message in your inbox say?
lol its that ha ha da xiao thing. still there

30. Who comes up after J?
janice see. slacker! xD

31. Go to your sent messages- What does the tenth message say?
it was to charmaine. lol bout what i wanted for my bdae x)

32. Who is your network provider?
singtel

33. How many messages are there in your inbox?
183

34. Who do you have on speed dial 3?
no one

35. If you are on prepaid card, how much credit do you have?
I'm not.

36. Who's the first person who comes up after C?
calvin

37. What do you have as your main ringtone?
some weird song

38. Pass this quiz to ten people
too bad. im feeling lazy

2008-11-12T19:21:00.004+08:00

c & d was great! 213!!!! i'll blog bout it later =D

but omg training sucked like shit. it killed my ankle and i've juz become a bai ka. bleugh it better not be fractured... cuz of that i couldnt go for c & d yesterday cuz had to go see doc cuz of how pain it was. then i missed sim hwee's bdae party today cuz of x ray and going to see doc. and im gonna miss c & d today cuz of that freaking ankle. sorry sim hwee! so that means i never saw a single c & d performace even though i was planning to. dang. IF we were going to malacca it would be tmr and i would juz kill myself cuz i definitely cant go. AND no training for me tmr. NO training camp next week. i have no idea how im gonna move around at class chalet cuz my speed now is like 1m/h or something... and sry carissa i can only pay u the money at class chalet.

today was supposed to be my first day slacking at home since hols. and no it's not slacking. it's tiring and irritating cuz im missing so much stuff all thanks to that jumping thing chai made us do that caused me to fall. i should have juz ignored what he was saying and juz change legs, instead of trying to deng tui. cuz that freaking bench is NOT stable. i wanna go to the last night of choral and drama!!!

im supposed to be like sad about leaving 213 and not worrying bout being a bai ka right now. this sucks.

2008-11-06T16:37:00.002+08:00

Should i choose the class and remain...
or should i take a gamble and be the only one again?

HELP DANG IT. I SERIOUSLY HAVE NO IDEA. SHOULD I OR NOT. WELL MAYBE IM SORTA SLANTING TOWARDS CHOOSING THE CLASS BUT EVEN THEN ANY CHOICE IS A GAMBLE. WHY THE HECK AM I SO SUAY. WHY COULDNT THERE BE MORE PPL WHO CHOSE PHYSICS. THEN I WOULDNT HAVE TO CHOOSE. THEN I CAN BLAME SOMEONE IF SOMETHING GOES WRONG AND I HATE WHATEVER WAS GIVEN TO ME. BUT IF SOMETHING GOES WRONG, IT'LL JUZ BE MY FAULT. HOW VERY FUNNY. ACTUALLY IM QUITE SURE OF WHAT I'LL CHOOSE IN THE END.

BUT THE QUESTION IS. IS IT WORTH IT? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
DAMN IT LAH. I DUNNO. AND THERE'S NO ONE TO ASK. BLEUGH. FORGET IT. I WISH MAN. WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO KEEP CHOOSING AND CHOOSING AND CHOOSING. THAT TIME WHEN GOT INTO GEP HAD TO CHOOSE AND IT WAS DAMN HARD MAKING THE DECISION, BUT IT WORKED OUT :) WELL CHOOSING SEC SCH WASNT THAT HARD ALTOGETHER. BUT IT MIGHT HAVE SHOULD THERE HAVE BEEN MORE GIRLS IN GEP. THEN SUBJECT OPTION I TOOK DAMN LONG TO ACTUALLY DARE TO TRY FOR DOUBLE SCI AND MAKE A CHOICE. THOUGHT THAT ONCE I HANDED IN THE FORM, THAT WOULD BE IT. BUT NO. SO NOW THE OPTION IS OPEN TO ME AGAIN HUH? SHOULDNT I BE VERY GRATEFUL THAT I CAN CHOOSE AGAIN? OH WOW. BUT IM NOT. CUZ I CANT CHOOSE. IT'S NOT STRAIGHTFORWARD AT ALL. I HAVE 3 CHOICES WTH. BUT WELL I STILL NEED TO THANK THE SCH FOR THEIR EFFORTS TO KEEP THE GEP TOGETHER. SERIOUSLY, THANKS A LOT. BUT OF COURSE. I WILL HAVE TO MAKE A DECISION.

finally, i've chosen thanks to my mum =) you rock! heh so i've chosen to be with the class and changed my subject option to chem + bio.

there's no wrong decision and no such thing as regretting a decision. it is a choice that you made at that point in time where it seemed like the best choice. so dun regret it, but live with it and make the most out of it:)

2008-10-28T21:27:00.002+08:00

Random Questions

What is yr name?
you should know

Do you believe in dreams?
they're a scary relection of crazy things i imagine

Do you dream often?
err i think so

Do you believe in god?
sometimes

What is yr current worry?
Dying for training on thurs cuz my left leg is freaking screwed and hurts even when i kick up at an angle of 90 degrees!!!

The last time u went to hospital?
ehhh i dun rmb

The last person u spoke to on the phone?
my mum. who went to ny from home while i was going home from ny =.= cuz they had some psg thing..

The last person u missed?
i dunno

The colour you relate to most?
i dun think i relate to any colours lah...

The last song u listened to?
hsm song when carissa was playing saw sch musical in class -.-'''

The last thing u regret?
losing so damn many marks to careless mistakes for eoys. its a damn habit.

The last person u IMed?
on msn with jia now.

The last person u messaged?
jia again =.=

What do you like about tmr?
OF COURSE the non existant malacca trip briefing!

What do you hate about tmr?
the draginesss of stuff

The last thing u ate?
err that pie thing my mum bought for dinner

The last person u screamt at?
my bro? for blasting all his history stuff into my brain (as usual) even though he has exams tmr...

A random thought?
errr....

Something stuck in yr mind?
bo le

Any words left unspoken?
a lot

Last cut u had?
cut my hair not very long ago and that was why i had to be the guai gia and pai gia for next year's cme booklet =.=

Play any sports?
duh. soccer, bball, swimming, badminton, etc lah!

Friends (Out of the girls you know)

Prettiest?
...

Hottest?
...

Cutest?
tze! grah even though this would make her ego.... and i was trying to convince her tht she wasnt as cute as the monkey T.T

Best listening ear?
jia, jean? lol a lot of ppl dun fit in here at all

Loudest?
chua wen hui! havent seen u in damn long lah...

Most drama?
chua wen hui again! so duh lor!

Longest known?
jingyi? i think...

Closest?
err.... dunno if got or not

Tallest?
Brenda? or samantha?

Shortest?
ahaha sharmaine wong!

Longest hair?
susi!!

Shortest hair?
errr wn when she cut her hair?

Funniest?
lol all not funny lah.

Feminine?
audrey

Masculine?
no one? (wth jean put me for this!)

Smartest?
sharmaine, ppl in my class =.=

Dumbest?
...

Straightforward?
tiny? i dunno leh

Sportiest?
je

Silver spoon in their mouths?
dun have. i think

Darkest?
evelyn!

Strongest?
ehhhh i dunno leh!

Weakest?
grah i dunno either...

Skinniest?
alicia

Friends (Out of the guys you know)

Cutest?
errr.... calvin?

Good looking?
...

Best listening ear?
ttk? no one else i think

Loudest?
a lot of ppl! clarence woon, tan zhe yuan!

Most drama?
ehhh... dun have lah

Longest known?
can xiang i guess

Closest?
few ppl like ttk, tzy? i dunno

Tallest?
walao they all damn tall lah!. jia rong? or clarence?

Shortest?
kenneth or tanyang... omg kyx has grown a lot lah! almost as tall as me liao...

Funniest?
this is gonna be the longest list ever. basically almost every guy in J

Feminine?
Song jenny! heheh xD

Masculine?
clarence, ttk, kenneth, ty

Sportiest?
clarence, ttk, kenneth, ty, etc. a lot of ppl lah!

Flirtatious?
tzy!! xD xD

Smartest?
kyx, clarence... there's more but i suddenly brain block =.=

Dumbest?
haha i shall not be evil

Darkest?
canxiang

Fairest?
jenny? haha dunno leh

Strongest?
Got no strongest lah... i think..

Weakest?
eh i dunno again

Skinniest?
kyx of course! he's damn bony lah!

PISSED

2008-10-23T21:50:00.003+08:00

Wanted to post yesterday but wow fell asleep at 10. lol all i can rmb is that jia's laughter is crazy, amusing and is unstoppable! yes... today was sucky, pretty much. volleyball in the morning was postponed and watched school of rock. went for ne quiz that was amazingly dumb. write a story eh? played few rounds of taiti and bridge before going for volleyball. cup is totally pointless can. cuz 213 odd one out so we auto enter second round. end up they shorten playing time from 7 to 5 mins. so yeah we lost and ended up playing for a shorter time than the teams who lost in the first round =.= went to support the bowl team. then end up me, sarah, je, jean, celine and tze ended up playing half volleyball.

went to audi for om briefing which i thought sucked like shit and, me, sarah, tze, celine and jean wanted to juz get outta the audi. AND THEN. the wonderful news came. ms yap said that the malacca trip was cancelled. WHATHE HELL lah! then hui ran went up to ask why it was cancelled, then ms yap beat around the bush, totally evading the question and then said something like im not quite sure why. NOT SURE?! and the sch claims that they went through a lot of consideration and thought before making the decision... H.A.H.A so funny. and she said i believe some of u are happy because you have already made other plans. oh but of course we are so happy. like who was the one who told us they hoped we would cancel our programmes so as to go for the malacca trip eh?

and huiran's question totally went unanswered lah. WHY WAS IT CANCELLED?! and you cant even give us a politically correct answer! oh and you replace it with such a wonderful sounding national education fieldtrip. yeah right going to a malay village in geylang serai is so fun! replacing a nice 3d2n malacca trip with a pathetic 3 hours in some dumbass place. still say what get 100% reimbursement and the sch will cover all costs required for that all so wonderful fieldtrip... how much can it cost man? traditional games and food eh? oh wow how come i always thought that roti prata was traditional indian and not malay food? how dumb of me. and who hasnt gone to kampong glam to play traditional games? im sure we cant pay for this if we can pay for the malacca trip right? they juz suddenly cancel the malacca trip when we are all anticipating it like what 3 weeks before the trip?! and the only they say that students have other plans. how bout u cancel our eoys cuz the students all have plans and so you'll make us so happy? walao and that westvik scolded huiran and the rest of the cohort who were cheering her on when she asked the question. what appaled at our behavior.. and all that crap.

training was tiring? or maybe cuz i got injured. did a lot of ce shou fans lah! then somehow i think cuz of that i pulled my left thigh muscle. bleugh when i was doing my taolu it was hurting for more than 3/4 of the time lah wtf. cuz there were very few moves that did not require me to strain my left leg. blah and i was doing quite slackly cuz was damn pain then still hurt so crappily. after wushu went down and me and sarah bought noodles from asian delight. somehow due to the atmosphere and all the stuff that happened the whole day that bowl of noodles was juz damn good. lol dunno how to describe lah but got that feeling.

when u dun feel anything, it means it has become a habit eh?

2008-10-21T22:15:00.003+08:00

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AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

there's nothing much to say. xian. but heh thank god for some ppl.

and this makes me think of that wonderful pitch for venting stuff. and the place where no it didnt matter and everyone KNEW what to do. i seriously need to vent this and not do anything but stone or sleep or watch tv cuz it works best.

That's my so called life

that's it.

痛定思痛

think about the bloody consequences

免费的展览都没人看

看来我太高估自己了

但我的愛多強悍 出乎妳預料

极限早被践踏了

拿人钱财，替人消灾

the 27th?! WTF.

and now we come to the new decade

something really apt

O LEVELS!

NYWS FTW!

潇洒走一回

the thing about GEP

时机不容错过，否则往事只能回味

Beijing was like 5 days ago...

HEAL ALREADY....

NYWS FTW!

NYWS FTW!

NYWS FTW!

挺有意思的

some people are incorrigible

天理何在?

wen hui you better come back soon!

秦兵!

so what?

Batch outing! =D

dumb thing

You are The Moon

Vaporise everything in the way

永远等待那一日咱可以出头天

its all an act

PISSED

when u dun feel anything, it means it has become a habit eh?

但我的愛多強悍出乎妳預料